how to impress a boy
Step1
Be yourself around the boy you're trying to impress. This may sound like unhelpful advice, but the worst thing you can ever do is pretend to be something you're not. People will see right through you. So lighten up, enjoy yourself and have fun. Remember to laugh.
Step2
Find out what his interests are. This doesn't mean you need to pretend to be interested in the same things (unless you actually are), but it will give you a way to start conversations with him. Maybe you can even poke fun at him about something you learn; playful teasing is flirty and fun.
Step3
Dress appropriately. Often girls think the best way to lure a boy is by showing way too much skin, but dressing scantily could backfire. You never want to be (or seem) desperate for attention, and wearing inappropriate, or too little, clothing is a sure fire way to get the wrong kind of looks. Wear cute, age-appropriate clothing that leaves something to the imagination.
Step4
Lend an ear to him. Everyone needs a good listener in his life. If you like this boy, you don't want to nervously talk his ear off. Listen to him and be a good friend. Being relaxed and fun is intriguing, and if you're confident that you're fun to be around, the boy you want to impress will feel that. It won't take long for him to go from "boy to impress" to "definitely impressed."
how to impress a girl
Step1
What makes you different makes you impressive. What makes you different makes you impressive. Examine your hobbies. Maybe you do something like play Dungeons and Dragons, which won't impress a lot of girls, but maybe you organize meet ups all the time and can relate with everyone you speak with. Maybe you can make it interesting to the disbelievers. Do you play a sport? Reading could be your thing? Maybe you keep a blog that draws interested viewers constantly? Inside the ordinary everything (and those are just random examples) you can find something extraordinary and unique to you. Unique is key, because to impress a girl you should be unique.
Step2
Talk with her personally about things you have done. Talk with her personally about things you have done. Inside your hobbies and elsewhere, think about your accomplishments, big and small. Something is bound to be interesting and impressive to a girl. Just remember when talking to her not to simply toss out ideas and boast. Find something personal and easy to relate to about your accomplishment and share an experience with her.
Step3
Listening to her will defnitely impress a girl. Listening to her will defnitely impress a girl. Impress a girl by being interested in what she has to say. Ask about her hobbies and accomplishments. Get to know her. A girl is always impressed by genuine interest. You will also find things you both care about in talking and impress each other.
Boys want to impress girls all the time. Ever since man and woman were created, men have always tried to impress, woo and court woman. Impressing a girl is mandatory before a boy attempts to court the girl. There are numerous methods of impressing girls, namely looks, behavior and social and financial status. However, there are a few general rules in attempting to impress girls. Let us look at the first factor, which is that of your looks. How you present yourself to the girl matters as the first impression lasts very long in ones memory. Groom yourself first, ensure cleanliness and tidiness in your body hygiene and in the clothes you wear. No girl wants to date a guy who looks like he has escaped from the town zoo.
The next thing that strikes a girl is your demeanor, your confidence level and your general behavior. You should try to be polite and gentle in your conversations with the girl, being assertive to indicate your confidence and at the same time refrain from being aggressive which is sure to scare the girl. Your positive attitude will send positive vibes to the girl, which will surely be reciprocated. Show genuine interest in her, not just her looks but also in all other aspects of her. Be a good listener and when you talk, lace it with some humor, as this will show her that you are an interesting and exciting person to hangout with all the time.
Shower lavish compliments on her from time to time without being critical. Point out her positives more than her negative points. This will make a girl realize that you are so interested in her that you even overlook negative things about her, things of which she herself will be well aware. Be a romantic and surprise her with gifts on her anniversaries or important dates indicating that you attach equal importance to her important events in her life as much as she does herself. All girls like a successful person as a soul mate or partner but this does not mean that girls are interested only in rich boys. Exude confidence and self respect whatever your social standing is and this will definitely make her realize that you are someone who holds a lot of promise for the future if not now. So we can summarize that a well-groomed person with confidence and a positive attitude coupled with an ability to hold intelligent conversations laced with humor and wit will definitely impress almost all the girls.
How to Impress a Girl and Make Her Fall in Love with a Boy
Most guys want to impress a girl so she will like him, but most of those guys come about it all wrong, and instead of impressing her, he turns her off. Find out how to turn heads-in your direction.
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[edit] Steps
1. Now the first step is the most simple-play a sport. I don't care what you play, even rugby and golf. As long as girls know that you play a sport and don't sit all day in your dark room playing final fantasy, dungeons and dragons, and world of warcraft. Carry a football, basketball, or baseball glove around school a couple times out of the week. Also, if you're not exactly the sports type, try considering learning to play an instrument. Girls love a guy who can play guitar or piano. You don't know how much this attracts a girl. I mean, a girl would rather have a smart, fat, baseball player than a smart, fat world of warcraft geek.
2. Now, find out if she is single. It really sucks to do all of these steps for a girl who already has a boyfriend that she loves.
3. Too many guys make the mistake of thinking that if you can burp for more than twenty seconds, than a girl will fall in love with him. Impress her with your brains, act smarter and more mature than those other idiots. But don't come off as a geek or nerd.
4. Act charming. Have witty conversations with the girl.
5. Know the latest fashions, trends, music, movies, and tv shows. Pick up a newspaper or a magazine and read through all of the sections. Get a general knowledge of what is going on in today's teen world so you will have a lot to talk about.
6. Make friends with everyone. Be the guy who everyone sits around and listens to. Be the all around guy. Be able to talk to the goths, jocks, popular kids, geeks, and everyone else. She will feel way more comfortable around you knowing that you are cool with everyone you know, instead of being the geek in the back of the classroom who has no friends.
7. Find out what you both have in common, and make sure that she knows that you two have the same likes and dislikes.
8. Make her feel really comfortable around you. Make sure that she knows that she is able to come to you with any problems that she might be having in her life. Also, make sure that she knows that not only can you listen to her problems, but you can also solve her problems, or maybe at least just come up with ideas to help her solve them. Be warned, however. Offering advice is one thing, but girls don't talk about their problems to someone because they want that person to try and solve them all. They want someone who will listen, first and foremost.
9. Now here's the big step. Ask her out to a movie, or to lunch. If she feels the same way that you feel about her, then she will most likely say yes.
Tips
* Compliment her sometimes on something that she doesn't think that you will notice. When she is wearing something a little more special than normal, comment to her that she is looking especially nice. She probably put it on to be noticed, so she'll love the compliment. Even if you don't know anything about fashion, you'll know when she is wearing something nice is she smiles and blushes when you look at her. Just don't go overboard with the compliments. It will just look creepy. Maybe you should just say a compliment once a week, maybe twice a week, tops.
* Be yourself. Don't try to fake a personality. She will most likely notice, and if the girl you like doesn't like you for who you are, then she's not worth your time. Don't ever change your personality for another person. You are who you are, and if people don't like it, they will just have to deal with it. You are you, and nobody can, or should change that.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
love
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Love
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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For other uses, see Love (disambiguation).
Part of a series on Love
Basic Aspects
Love
Love (scientific views)
Love (virtue)
Love (cultural views)
Human bonding
Historically
Courtly love
Greek love
Religious love
Types of emotion
Erotic love
Platonic love
Familial love
Romantic love
See also
Unrequited love
Love sickness
Interpersonal relationship
Sexuality
Sexual intercourse
Cultural views of love
Valentine's Day
This box: view • talk • edit
Close relationships
Types of relationships
Boyfriend • Casual • Cohabitation • Concubinage • Courtesan • Domestic partnership • Family • Friendship • Girlfriend • Husband • Kinship • Marriage • Mistress (lover) • Monogamy • Non-monogamy • Pederasty • Polyamory • Polyfidelity • Polygamy • Romantic friendship • Same-sex relationship • Significant other • Soulmate • Widowhood • Wife
Major relationship events
Courtship • Bonding • Divorce • Relationship breakup • Romance • Separation • Wedding
Feelings and emotions
Affinity • Attachment • Compersion • Infatuation • Intimacy • Jealousy • Limerence • Love • Passion • Platonic love • Polyamory • Psychology of sexual monogamy
Human practices
Bride price (Dower • Dowry) • Hypergamy • Relationship abuse (Child abuse • Elder abuse • Spousal abuse) • Sexuality • Teen dating violence
v • d • e
The stylized heart symbol is a traditional European icon representing love.
This article about a trait that is shared between many species might have an extensive bias or disproportional coverage towards one species. Please improve this article or discuss the issue on the talk page.
Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection[1] and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure to intense interpersonal attraction. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my girlfriend"). This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.
As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love[2] to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love.[3] Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.
Contents
[hide]
• 1 Definitions
• 2 Impersonal love
• 3 Interpersonal love
o 3.1 Chemical basis
o 3.2 Psychological basis
o 3.3 Comparison of scientific models
• 4 Cultural views
o 4.1 Persian
o 4.2 Chinese and other Sinic cultures
o 4.3 Japanese
o 4.4 Ancient Greek
o 4.5 Turkish (Shaman & Islamic)
o 4.6 Ancient Roman (Latin)
• 5 Religious views
o 5.1 Christian
o 5.2 Buddhist
o 5.3 Indic and Hindu
o 5.4 Arabic and Islamic
o 5.5 Jewish
• 6 References
• 7 Sources
• 8 See also
• 9 External links
Definitions
The English word "love" can have a variety of related but distinct meanings in different contexts. Often, other languages use multiple words to express some of the different concepts that English relies mainly on "love" to encapsulate; one example is the plurality of Greek words for "love." Cultural differences in conceptualizing love thus make it doubly difficult to establish any universal definition.[4]
Although the nature or essence of love is a subject of frequent debate, different aspects of the word can be clarified by determining what isn't love. As a general expression of positive sentiment (a stronger form of like), love is commonly contrasted with hate (or neutral apathy); as a less sexual and more emotionally intimate form of romantic attachment, love is commonly contrasted with lust; and as an interpersonal relationship with romantic overtones, love is commonly contrasted with friendship, although other definitions of the word love may be applied to close friendships in certain contexts.
When discussed in the abstract, love usually refers to interpersonal love, an experience felt by a person for another person. Love often involves caring for or identifying with a person or thing, including oneself (cf. narcissism).
In addition to cross-cultural differences in understanding love, ideas about love have also changed greatly over time. Some historians date modern conceptions of romantic love to courtly Europe during or after the Middle Ages, although the prior existence of romantic attachments is attested by ancient love poetry.[5]
Because of the complex and abstract nature of love, discourse on love is commonly reduced to a thought-terminating cliché, and there are a number of common proverbs regarding love, from Virgil's "Love conquers all" to the Beatles' "All you need is love." Bertrand Russell describes love as a condition of "absolute value," as opposed to relative value. Theologian Thomas Jay Oord said that to love is to "act intentionally, in sympathetic response to others, to promote overall well-being."[citation needed] Philosopher Gottfried Leibniz said that love is "to be delighted by the happiness of another."[6]
Impersonal love
A person can be said to love a country, principle, or goal if they value it greatly and are deeply committed to it. Similarly, compassionate outreach and volunteer workers' "love" of their cause may sometimes be borne not of interpersonal love, but impersonal love coupled with altruism and strong political convictions. People can also "love" material objects, animals, or activities if they invest themselves in bonding or otherwise identifying with those things. If sexual passion is also involved, this condition is called paraphilia.[7]
Interpersonal love
Interpersonal love refers to love between human beings. It is a more potent sentiment than a simple liking for another. Unrequited love refers to those feelings of love that are not reciprocated. Interpersonal love is most closely associated with interpersonal relationships. Such love might exist between family members, friends, and couples. There are also a number of psychological disorders related to love, such as erotomania.
Throughout history, philosophy and religion have done the most speculation on the phenomenon of love. In the last century, the science of psychology has written a great deal on the subject. In recent years, the sciences of evolutionary psychology, evolutionary biology, anthropology, neuroscience, and biology have added to the understanding of the nature and function of love.
Chemical basis
Simplistic overview of the chemical basis of love.
Main article: Love (scientific views)
Biological models of sex tend to view love as a mammalian drive, much like hunger or thirst.[8] Helen Fisher, a leading expert in the topic of love, divides the experience of love into three partly overlapping stages: lust, attraction, and attachment. Lust exposes people to others; romantic attraction encourages people to focus their energy on mating; and attachment involves tolerating the spouse (or indeed the child) long enough to rear a child into infancy.
Lust is the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes mating, and involves the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and estrogen. These effects rarely last more than a few weeks or months. Attraction is the more individualized and romantic desire for a specific candidate for mating, which develops out of lust as commitment to an individual mate forms. Recent studies in neuroscience have indicated that as people fall in love, the brain consistently releases a certain set of chemicals, including pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, which act in a manner similar to amphetamines, stimulating the brain's pleasure center and leading to side effects such as increased heart rate, loss of appetite and sleep, and an intense feeling of excitement. Research has indicated that this stage generally lasts from one and a half to three years.[9]
Since the lust and attraction stages are both considered temporary, a third stage is needed to account for long-term relationships. Attachment is the bonding that promotes relationships lasting for many years and even decades. Attachment is generally based on commitments such as marriage and children, or on mutual friendship based on things like shared interests. It has been linked to higher levels of the chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin to a greater degree than short-term relationships have.[9]
The protein molecule known as the nerve growth factor (NGF) has high levels when people first fall in love, but these return to previous levels after one year. [10]
Psychological basis
Grandmother and grandchild,
Sri Lanka.
Further information: Human bonding
Psychology depicts love as a cognitive and social phenomenon. Psychologist Robert Sternberg formulated a triangular theory of love and argued that love has three different components: intimacy, commitment, and passion. Intimacy is a form in which two people share confidences and various details of their personal lives, and is usually shown in friendships and romantic love affairs. Commitment, on the other hand, is the expectation that the relationship is permanent. The last and most common form of love is sexual attraction and passion. Passionate love is shown in infatuation as well as romantic love. All forms of love are viewed as varying combinations of these three components. American psychologist Zick Rubin seeks to define love by psychometrics. His work states that three factors constitute love: attachment, caring, and intimacy.[11][12]
Fraternal love (Prehispanic sculpture from 250–900 A.D., of Huastec origin). Museum of Anthropology in Xalapa, Veracruz, Mexico.
Following developments in electrical theories such as Coulomb's law, which showed that positive and negative charges attract, analogs in human life were developed, such as "opposites attract." Over the last century, research on the nature of human mating has generally found this not to be true when it comes to character and personality—people tend to like people similar to themselves. However, in a few unusual and specific domains, such as immune systems, it seems that humans prefer others who are unlike themselves (e.g., with an orthogonal immune system), since this will lead to a baby that has the best of both worlds.[13] In recent years, various human bonding theories have been developed, described in terms of attachments, ties, bonds, and affinities.
Some Western authorities disaggregate into two main components, the altruistic and the narcissistic. This view is represented in the works of Scott Peck, whose work in the field of applied psychology explored the definitions of love and evil. Peck maintains that love is a combination of the "concern for the spiritual growth of another," and simple narcissism.[14] In combination, love is an activity, not simply a feeling.
Sacred Love Versus Profane Love (1602–03) by Giovanni Baglione.
Comparison of scientific models
Biological models of love tend to see it as a mammalian drive, similar to hunger or thirst.[8] Psychology sees love as more of a social and cultural phenomenon. There are probably elements of truth in both views. Certainly love is influenced by hormones (such as oxytocin), neurotrophins (such as NGF), and pheromones, and how people think and behave in love is influenced by their conceptions of love. The conventional view in biology is that there are two major drives in love: sexual attraction and attachment. Attachment between adults is presumed to work on the same principles that lead an infant to become attached to its mother. The traditional psychological view sees love as being a combination of companionate love and passionate love. Passionate love is intense longing, and is often accompanied by physiological arousal (shortness of breath, rapid heart rate); companionate love is affection and a feeling of intimacy not accompanied by physiological arousal.
Studies have shown that brain scans of those infatuated by love display a resemblance to those with a mental illness. Love creates activity in the same area of the brain where hunger, thirst, and drug cravings create activity. New love, therefore, could possibly be more physical than emotional. Over time, this reaction to love mellows, and different areas of the brain are activated, primarily ones involving long-term commitments. Dr. Andrew Newberg, a neuroscientist, suggests that this reaction to love is so similar to that of drugs because without love, humanity would die out.[citation needed]
Cultural views
Persian
Even after all this time
The sun never says to the earth, "You owe me."
Look what happens with a Love like that!
—It lights the whole Sky. (Hafiz)
Rumi, Hafez and Sa'di are icons of the passion and love that the Persian culture and language present. The Persian word for love is eshgh, deriving from the Arabic ishq. In the Persian culture, everything is encompassed by love and all is for love, starting from loving friends and family, husbands and wives, and eventually reaching the divine love that is the ultimate goal in life. Over seven centuries ago, Sa'di wrote:
The children of Adam are limbs of one body
Having been created of one essence.
When the calamity of time afflicts one limb
The other limbs cannot remain at rest.
If you have no sympathy for the troubles of others
You are not worthy to be called by the name of "man."
Chinese and other Sinic cultures
The traditional Chinese character for love (愛) consists of a heart (middle) inside of "accept," "feel," or "perceive," which shows a graceful emotion.
In contemporary Chinese language and culture, several terms or root words are used for the concept of love:
• It was the Qing‘s emperor first word of name.
• Ai (愛) is used as a verb (e.g., Wo ai ni, "I love you") or as a noun, especially in aiqing (愛情), "love" or "romance." In mainland China since 1949, airen (愛人, originally "lover," or more literally, "love person") is the dominant word for "spouse" (with separate terms for "wife" and "husband" originally being de-emphasized); the word once had a negative connotation, which it retains among many in Taiwan.
• Lian (戀) is not generally used alone, but instead as part of such terms as "being in love" (談戀愛, tan lian'ai—also containing ai), "lover" (戀人, lianren) or "homosexuality" (同性戀, tongxinglian).
• Qing (情), commonly meaning "feeling" or "emotion," often indicates "love" in several terms. It is contained in the word aiqing (愛情); qingren (情人) is a term for "lover."
In Confucianism, lian is a virtuous benevolent love. Lian should be pursued by all human beings, and reflects a moral life. The Chinese philosopher Mozi developed the concept of ai (愛) in reaction to Confucian lian. Ai, in Mohism, is universal love towards all beings, not just towards friends or family, without regard to reciprocation. Extravagance and offensive war are inimical to ai. Although Mozi's thought was influential, the Confucian lian is how most Chinese conceive of love.
Gănqíng (感情) is the "feeling" of a relationship, vaguely similar to empathy. A person will express love by building good gănqíng, accomplished through helping or working for another and emotional attachment toward another person or anything.
Yuanfen (緣份) is a connection of bound destinies. A meaningful relationship is often conceived of as dependent strong yuanfen. It is very similar to serendipity. A similar conceptualization in English is, "They were made for each other," "fate," or "destiny."
Zaolian (Simplified: 早恋, Traditional: 早戀, pinyin: zǎoliàn), literally "early love," is a contemporary term in frequent use for romantic feelings or attachments among children or adolescents. Zaolian describes both relationships among a teenage boyfriend and girlfriend as well as the "crushes" of early adolescence or childhood. The concept essentially indicates a prevalent belief in contemporary Chinese culture, which is that, due to the demands of their studies (especially true in the highly competitive educational system of China), youth should not form romantic attachments lest their jeopardize their chances for success in the future. Reports have appeared in Chinese newspapers and other media detailing the prevalence of the phenomenon and its perceived dangers to students and the fears of parents.
Japanese
In Japanese Buddhism, ai (愛) is passionate caring love, and a fundamental desire. It can develop towards either selfishness or selflessness and enlightenment.
Amae (甘え), a Japanese word meaning "indulgent dependence," is part of the child-rearing culture of Japan. Japanese mothers are expected to hug and indulge their children, and children are expected to reward their mothers by clinging and serving. Some sociologists have suggested that Japanese social interactions in later life are modeled on the mother-child amae.
Ancient Greek
Greek distinguishes several different senses in which the word "love" is used. For example, Ancient Greek has the words philia, eros, agape, storge, and xenia. However, with Greek (as with many other languages), it has been historically difficult to separate the meanings of these words totally. At the same time, the Ancient Greek text of the Bible has examples of the verb agapo having the same meaning as phileo.
Agape (ἀγάπη agápē) means love in modern-day Greek. The term s'agapo means I love you in Greek. The word agapo is the verb I love. It generally refers to a "pure," ideal type of love, rather than the physical attraction suggested by eros. However, there are some examples of agape used to mean the same as eros. It has also been translated as "love of the soul."
Eros (ἔρως érōs) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Greek word erota means in love. Plato refined his own definition. Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. Eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth by eros. Some translations list it as "love of the body."
Philia (φιλία philía), a dispassionate virtuous love, was a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality, and familiarity. Philia is motivated by practical reasons; one or both of the parties benefit from the relationship. It can also mean "love of the mind."
Storge (στοργή storgē) is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring.
Xenia (ξενία xenía), hospitality, was an extremely important practice in Ancient Greece. It was an almost ritualized friendship formed between a host and his guest, who could previously have been strangers. The host fed and provided quarters for the guest, who was expected to repay only with gratitude. The importance of this can be seen throughout Greek mythology—in particular, Homer's Iliad and Odyssey.
Turkish (Shaman & Islamic)
In Turkish, the word "love" comes up with several meanings. A person can love a god, a person, parents, or family. But that person can "love" just one person from the opposite sex, which they call the word "aşk." Aşk is a feeling for to love, as it still is in Turkish today. The Turks used this word just for their romantic loves in a romantic or sexual sense. If a Turk says that he is in love (aşk) with somebody, it is not a love that a person can feel for his or her parents; it is just for one person, and it indicates a huge infatuation. The word is also common for Turkic languages, such as Kazakh (ғашық).
Ancient Roman (Latin)
The Latin language has several different verbs corresponding to the English word "love."
Amāre is the basic word for to love, as it still is in Italian today. The Romans used it both in an affectionate sense as well as in a romantic or sexual sense. From this verb come amans—a lover, amator, "professional lover," often with the accessory notion of lechery—and amica, "girlfriend" in the English sense, often as well being applied euphemistically to a prostitute. The corresponding noun is amor, which is also used in the plural form to indicate love affairs or sexual adventures. This same root also produces amicus—"friend"—and amicitia, "friendship" (often based to mutual advantage, and corresponding sometimes more closely to "indebtedness" or "influence"). Cicero wrote a treatise called On Friendship (de Amicitia), which discusses the notion at some length. Ovid wrote a guide to dating called Ars Amatoria (The Art of Love), which addresses, in depth, everything from extramarital affairs to overprotective parents.
Complicating the picture somewhat, Latin sometimes uses amāre where English would simply say to like. This notion, however, is much more generally expressed in Latin by placere or delectāre, which are used more colloquially, the latter used frequently in the love poetry of Catullus.
Diligere often has the notion "to be affectionate for," "to esteem," and rarely if ever is used for romantic love. This word would be appropriate to describe the friendship of two men. The corresponding noun diligentia, however, has the meaning of "diligence" or "carefulness," and has little semantic overlap with the verb.
Observare is a synonym for diligere; despite the cognate with English, this verb and its corresponding noun, observantia, often denote "esteem" or "affection."
Caritas is used in Latin translations of the Christian Bible to mean "charitable love"; this meaning, however, is not found in Classical pagan Roman literature. As it arises from a conflation with a Greek word, there is no corresponding verb.
Religious views
Christian
The Christian understanding is that love comes from God. The love of man and woman—eros in Greek—and the unselfish love of others (agape), are often contrasted as "ascending" and "descending" love, respectively, but are ultimately the same thing.[15]
There are several Greek words for "love" that are regularly referred to in Christian circles.
• Agape: In the New Testament, agapē is charitable, selfless, altruistic, and unconditional. It is parental love, seen as creating goodness in the world; it is the way God is seen to love humanity, and it is seen as the kind of love that Christians aspire to have for one another.
• Phileo: Also used in the New Testament, phileo is a human response to something that is found to be delightful. Also known as "brotherly love."
• Two other words for love in the Greek language, eros (sexual love) and storge (child-to-parent love), were never used in the New Testament.
Christians believe that to Love God with all your heart, mind, and strength and Love your neighbor as yourself are the two most important things in life (the greatest commandment of the Jewish Torah, according to Jesus; cf. Gospel of Mark chapter 12, verses 28–34). Saint Augustine summarized this when he wrote "Love God, and do as thou wilt."
The Apostle Paul glorified love as the most important virtue of all. Describing love in the famous poem in 1 Corinthians, he wrote, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres." (1 Cor. 13:4–7, NIV)
The Apostle John wrote, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son." (John 3:16–18, NIV)
John also wrote, "Dear friends, let us love one another for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." (1 John 4:7–8, NIV)
Saint Augustine says that one must be able to decipher the difference between love and lust. Lust, according to Saint Augustine, is an overindulgence, but to love and be loved is what he has sought for his entire life. He even says, “I was in love with love.” Finally, he does fall in love and is loved back, by God. Saint Augustine says the only one who can love you truly and fully is God, because love with a human only allows for flaws such as “jealousy, suspicion, fear, anger, and contention.” According to Saint Augustine, to love God is “to attain the peace which is yours.” (Saint Augustine Confessions)
Christian theologians see God as the source of love, which is mirrored in humans and their own loving relationships. Influential Christian theologian C.S. Lewis wrote a book called The Four Loves.
Benedict XVI wrote his first encyclical on "God is love." He said that a human being, created in the image of God, who is love, is able to practice love; to give himself to God and others (agape) and by receiving and experiencing God's love in contemplation (eros). This life of love, according to him, is the life of the saints such as Teresa of Calcutta and the Blessed Virgin Mary and is the direction Christians take when they believe that God loves them.[15]
Buddhist
In Buddhism, Kāma is sensuous, sexual love. It is an obstacle on the path to enlightenment, since it is selfish.
Karuṇā is compassion and mercy, which reduces the suffering of others. It is complementary to wisdom and is necessary for enlightenment.
Adveṣa and maitrī are benevolent love. This love is unconditional and requires considerable self-acceptance. This is quite different from ordinary love, which is usually about attachment and sex and which rarely occurs without self-interest. Instead, in Buddhism it refers to detachment and unselfish interest in others' welfare.
The Bodhisattva ideal in Mahayana Buddhism involves the complete renunciation of oneself in order to take on the burden of a suffering world. The strongest motivation one has in order to take the path of the Bodhisattva is the idea of salvation within unselfish, altruistic love for all sentient beings.
Indic and Hindu
In Hinduism, kāma is pleasurable, sexual love, personified by the god Kamadeva. For many Hindu schools, it is the third end (artha) in life. Kamadeva is often pictured holding a bow of sugar cane and an arrow of flowers; he may ride upon a great parrot. He is usually accompanied by his consort Rati and his companion Vasanta, lord of the spring season. Stone images of Kaama and Rati can be seen on the door of the Chenna Keshava temple at Belur, in Karnataka, India. Maara is another name for kāma.
In contrast to kāma, prema—or prem—refers to elevated love. Karuna is compassion and mercy, which impels one to help reduce the suffering of others. Bhakti is a Sanskrit term, meaning "loving devotion to the supreme God." A person who practices bhakti is called a bhakta. Hindu writers, theologians, and philosophers have distinguished nine forms of bhakti, which can be found in the Bhagavatha-Purana and works by Tulsidas. The philosophical work Narada Bhakti Sutras, written by an unknown author (presumed to be Narada), distinguishes eleven forms of love.
Arabic and Islamic
In a sense, love does encompass the Islamic view of life as universal brotherhood that applies to all who hold the faith. There are no direct references stating that God is love, but amongst the 99 names of God (Allah), there is the name Al-Wadud, or "the Loving One," which is found in Surah 11:90 as well as Surah 85:14. It refers to God as being "full of loving kindness." All who hold the faith have God's love, but to what degree or effort he has pleased God depends on the individual itself.
Ishq, or divine love, is the emphasis of Sufism. Sufis believe that love is a projection of the essence of God to the universe. God desires to recognize beauty, and as if one looks at a mirror to see oneself, God "looks" at itself within the dynamics of nature. Since everything is a reflection of God, the school of Sufism practices to see the beauty inside the apparently ugly. Sufism is often referred to as the religion of love. God in Sufism is referred to in three main terms, which are the Lover, Loved, and Beloved, with the last of these terms being often seen in Sufi poetry. A common viewpoint of Sufism is that through love, humankind can get back to its inherent purity and grace. The saints of Sufism are infamous for being "drunk" due to their love of God; hence, the constant reference to wine in Sufi poetry and music.
Jewish
In Hebrew, Ahava is the most commonly used term for both interpersonal love and love of God.
Judaism employs a wide definition of love, both among people and between man and the Deity. Regarding the former, the Torah states, "Love your neighbor like yourself" (Leviticus 19:18). As for the latter, one is commanded to love God "with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might" (Deuteronomy 6:5), taken by the Mishnah (a central text of the Jewish oral law) to refer to good deeds, willingness to sacrifice one's life rather than commit certain serious transgressions, willingness to sacrifice all of one's possessions, and being grateful to the Lord despite adversity (tractate Berachoth 9:5). Rabbinic literature differs as to how this love can be developed, e.g., by contemplating divine deeds or witnessing the marvels of nature.
As for love between marital partners, this is deemed an essential ingredient to life: "See life with the wife you love" (Ecclesiastes 9:9). The biblical book Song of Solomon is considered a romantically phrased metaphor of love between God and his people, but in its plain reading, reads like a love song.
The 20th-century Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler is frequently quoted as defining love from the Jewish point of view as "giving without expecting to take" (from his Michtav me-Eliyahu, Vol. 1). Romantic love per se has few echoes in Jewish literature, although the Medieval Rabbi Judah Halevi wrote romantic poetry in Arabic in his younger years (he appears to have regretted this later).
References
1. ^ Oxford Illustrated American Dictionary (1998) + Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary (2000)
2. ^ Kristeller, Paul Oskar (1980). Renaissance Thought and the Arts: Collected Essays. Princeton University. ISBN 0-691-02010-8.
3. ^ Mascaró, Juan (2003). The Bhagavad Gita. Penguin Classics. ISBN 0-140-44918-3. (J. Mascaró, translator)
4. ^ Kay, Paul. "What is the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis?" American Anthropologist, New Series, Volume 86, No. 1, March 1984, pp. 65–79
5. ^ Ancient Love Poetry
6. ^ Gottfried Leibniz, Confessio philosophi. Wikisource edition, retrieved Mar 25, 2009.
7. ^ DiscoveryHealth, Paraphilia, http://health.discovery.com/centers/sex/sexpedia/paraphilia.html, retrieved on 2007-12-16
8. ^ a b Lewis, Thomas; Amini, F., & Lannon, R. (2000). A General Theory of Love. Random House. ISBN 0-375-70922-3.
9. ^ a b Winston, Robert (2004). Human. Smithsonian Institution.
10. ^ Emanuele, E.; Polliti, P.; Bianchi, M.; Minoretti, P.; Bertona, M.; & Geroldi, D. (2005). “Raised plasma nerve growth factor levels associated with early-stage romantic love.” Abstract. Psychoneuroendocrinology, Sept. 05.
11. ^ Rubin, Zick. "Measurement of Romantic Love." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,16, 265–273, 1970
12. ^ Rubin, Zick. Liking and Loving: an invitation to social psychology. New York: Holt, Rinehart & Winston, 1973
13. ^ Berscheid, Ellen; Walster, Elaine, H. (1969). Interpersonal Attraction. Addison-Wesley Publishing Co. CCCN 69-17443.
14. ^ Peck, Scott (1978). The Road Less Traveled. Simon & Schuster. p. 169. ISBN 0-671-25067-1.
15. ^ a b Pope Benedict XVI, papal encyclical, Deus Caritas Est.
Sources
• Chadwick, Henry. "Saint Augustine Confessions." Oxford University Press, 1998.
• Fisher, Helen. Why We Love: the Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love
• Singer, Irving. The Nature of Love, in three volumes, Random House (v.1, 1966), reprinted and later volumes from The University of Chicago Press, 1984. ISBN 0-226-76094-4
• Sternberg, R.J. A triangular theory of love. 1986. Psychological Review, 93, 119–135
• Sternberg, R.J. Liking versus loving: A comparative evaluation of theories. 1987. Psychological Bulletin, 102, 331–345
• Tennov, Dorothy. Love and Limerence: the Experience of Being in Love. New York: Stein and Day, 1979. ISBN 0-812-86134-5
• Wood Samuel E., Ellen Wood and Denise Boyd. The World of Psychology. 5th edition. 2005. Pearson Education, 402–403
See also
• Love letter
• Monogamy
• Haptic medicine
• Wikipedia Books: Love
External links
Look up love in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.
Wikiquote has a collection of quotations related to: Love
Look up I love you in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.
• The Science of Love
• A whimsical overview of scientific research on love, with references
[hide]
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See also: Meta-emotion
Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love"
Categories: Love | Personal life | Virtues | Positive psychology | Ethical principles
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Love (scientific views)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
Part of a series on Love
Basic Aspects
Love
Love (scientific views)
Love (virtue)
Love (cultural views)
Human bonding
Historically
Courtly love
Greek love
Religious love
Types of emotion
Erotic love
Platonic love
Familial love
Romantic love
See also
Unrequited love
Love sickness
Interpersonal relationship
Sexuality
Sexual intercourse
Cultural views of love
Valentine's Day
This box: view • talk • edit
Close relationships
Types of relationships
Boyfriend • Casual • Cohabitation • Concubinage • Courtesan • Domestic partnership • Family • Friendship • Girlfriend • Husband • Kinship • Marriage • Mistress (lover) • Monogamy • Non-monogamy • Pederasty • Polyamory • Polyfidelity • Polygamy • Romantic friendship • Same-sex relationship • Significant other • Soulmate • Widowhood • Wife
Major relationship events
Courtship • Bonding • Divorce • Relationship breakup • Romance • Separation • Wedding
Feelings and emotions
Affinity • Attachment • Compersion • Infatuation • Intimacy • Jealousy • Limerence • Love • Passion • Platonic love • Polyamory • Psychology of sexual monogamy
Human practices
Bride price (Dower • Dowry) • Hypergamy • Relationship abuse (Child abuse • Elder abuse • Spousal abuse) • Sexuality • Teen dating violence
v • d • e
From a scientifically testable frame of reference, love is a type of interpersonal relationship where mutual assumption of good faith results in a state of emergence, i.e. constituents individually perceive the group's social evolution as both beneficial and greater than what could be achieved by the sum of the relationship's parts.
Biological sciences such as evolutionary psychology, evolutionary biology, anthropology and neuroscience have begun to explore the nature and function of love. Specific chemical substances such as oxytocin are studied in the context of their roles in producing human experiences and behaviors that are associated with love.
Contents
[hide]
• 1 Evolutionary psychology
• 2 Neurochemistry
o 2.1 Serotonin
o 2.2 Oxytocin
o 2.3 Nerve growth factor
• 3 Brain imaging
• 4 See also
• 5 References
• 6 External links
[edit] Evolutionary psychology
From the perspective of evolutionary psychology the experiences and behaviors associated with love can be investigated in terms of how they have been shaped by human evolution.[1] For example, it has been suggested that human language has been selected during evolution as a type of "mating signal" that allows potential mates to judge reproductive fitness.[2] Miller described evolutionary psychology as a starting place for further research: "Cognitive neuroscience could try to localize courtship adaptations in the brain. Most importantly, we need much better observations concerning real-life human courtship, including the measurable aspects of courtship that influence mate choice, the reproductive (or at least sexual) consequences of individual variation in those aspects, and the social-cognitive and emotional mechanisms of falling in love." Since Darwin's time there have been similar speculations about the evolution of human interest in music also as a potential signaling system for attracting and judging the fitness of potential mates.[3] It has been suggested that the human capacity to experience love has been evolved as a signal to potential mates that the partner will be a good parent and be likely to help pass genes to future generations.[4]
[edit] Neurochemistry
Studies in neuroscience have involved chemicals that are present in the brain and might be involved when people experience love. These chemicals include: nerve growth factor[5], testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, and vasopressin.[6] Adequate brain levels of testosterone seem important for both human male and female sexual behavior.[7] Dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin are more commonly found during the attraction phase of a relationship.[citation needed] Oxytocin and vasopressin seemed to be more closely linked to long term bonding and relationships characterized by strong attachments.
The conventional view in biology is that there are two major drives in love — sexual attraction and attachment. [8] Attachment between adults is presumed to work on the same principles that lead an infant to become attached to his or her mother or father.
The chemicals triggered that are responsible for passionate love and long-term attachment love seem to be more particular to the activities in which both persons participate rather than to the nature of the specific people involved.[8]
Helen Fisher, a leading expert in the topic of love, also adds lust to the experience of love. Lust exposes people to others, and is the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes mating, and involves the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and estrogen. These effects rarely last more than a few weeks or months.
[edit] Serotonin
Chemically, the serotonin effects of being in love have a similar chemical appearance to obsessive-compulsive disorder; which could explain why a person in love cannot think of anyone else.[9] For this reason some assert that taking SSRIs and other antidepressants, which treat OCD, impede one's ability to fall in love. One particular case:
"I know of one couple on the edge of divorce. The wife was on an antidepressant. Then she went off it, started having orgasms once more, felt the renewal of sexual attraction for her husband, and they're now in love all over again."[citation needed]
[edit] Oxytocin
The long-term attachment felt after the initial "in love" passionate phase of the relationship ends is related to oxytocin, a chemical released after orgasm.[10] Moreover, novelty triggers attraction. Thus, nerve-racking activities like riding a roller coaster are good on dates. Even working out for several minutes can make one more attracted to other people on account of increased heart rate and other physiological responses.
[edit] Nerve growth factor
In 2005, Italian scientists at Pavia University found that a protein molecule known as the nerve growth factor (NGF) has high levels when people first fall in love, but these return to previous levels after one year. Specifically, four neurotrophin levels (NGF, BDNF, NT-3, and NT-4) of 58 subjects who had recently fallen in love were compared with levels in two control groups who were either single or already engaged in a long-term relationship. The results showed that NGF levels were significantly higher in the subjects in love than as compared to either of the control groups.[11]
[edit] Brain imaging
Brain scanning techniques such as magnetic resonance imaging have been used to investigate brain regions that seem to be involved in producing the human experience of love.[12]
[edit] See also
• Biological Attraction
• Love
• Love (cultural views)
• Love (religious views)
• Love sickness
Charity (virtue)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
This article may require cleanup to meet Wikipedia's quality standards. Please improve this article if you can. (February 2007)
This article is about the theological term of Christianity. For other uses, see Charity (disambiguation).
Allegorical personification of Charity as a mother with three infants by Anthony van Dyck
In Christian theology charity, or love (agapē), means an unlimited loving-kindness toward all others.
The term should not be confused with the more restricted modern use of the word charity to mean benevolent giving.
Contents
[hide]
• 1 Caritas: altruistic love
• 2 Notes
• 3 See also
• 4 External links
[edit] Caritas: altruistic love
In Christian theology charity, or love (agapē), is the greatest of the three theological virtues:
Deus caritas est - "God is love".
Love, in this sense of an unlimited loving-kindness towards all others, is held to be the ultimate perfection of the human spirit, because it is said to both glorify and reflect the nature of God. In its most extreme form such love can be self-sacrificial. Confusion can arise from the multiple meanings of the English word "love." The love that is caritas is distinguished by its origin, being Divinely infused into the soul, and by its residing in the will rather than emotions, regardless of what emotions it stirs up. This love is necessary for salvation, and with it no one can be lost.
Charity by William-Adolphe Bouguereau
Charity is comprised two parts, love of God and love of man, which includes both love of one's neighbor and one's self.
Paul describes it in the Letter to the Corinthians (chapter 13 (KJV)):
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
Note that the King James Version uses both the words charity and love to translate the idea of caritas / ἀγάπη: sometimes it uses one, sometimes the other, for the same concept. Most other English translations, both before and since, do not; instead throughout they use the same more direct English word love, so that the unity of the teaching should not be in doubt. Love can have other meanings in English, but as used in the Bible it almost always refers to the virtue of caritas.
Many times when charity is mentioned in English-language bibles, it refers to "love of God." One example is "charity covereth a multitude of sins" (Peter 4:8), which forms the basis of perfect contrition.
[edit] Notes
1. John Bossy, Christianity in the West 1400-1700 (Oxford 1985) 168.
[edit] See also
• Loving-kindness
• Chesed Hebrew word, given the association of kindness and love
• Agape Greek word, given the association of "loving-kindness" or "love"
• Mettā Sanskrit word, given the association of "loving-kindness" and "friendliness"
• Deus caritas est 2005 Papal Encyclical
• Love for enemies
• Seven Heavenly Virtues
Chastity
Temperance
Charity
Diligence
Patience
Kindness
Humility
• Seven Deadly Sins (opposite of the seven virtues)
Lust
Gluttony
Greed
Sloth
Wrath
Envy
Pride
Love (cultural views)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
The heart, a frequent modern symbol of love
This page contains cultural views on the topic of love.
Contents
[hide]
• 1 Cultural views
o 1.1 Chinese
o 1.2 Japanese
o 1.3 Greek
o 1.4 Latin
o 1.5 Indonesian
o 1.6 Filipino Concepts
o 1.7 The Urdu Language
• 2 See also
• 3 References
• 4 External links
[edit] Cultural views
Part of a series on Love
Basic Aspects
Love
Love (scientific views)
Love (virtue)
Love (cultural views)
Human bonding
Historically
Courtly love
Greek love
Religious love
Types of emotion
Erotic love
Platonic love
Familial love
Romantic love
See also
Unrequited love
Love sickness
Interpersonal relationship
Sexuality
Sexual intercourse
Cultural views of love
Valentine's Day
This box: view • talk • edit
[edit] Chinese
• Ai (愛) is used as a verb (e.g. Wo ai ni, "I love you") or as a noun, especially in aiqing (愛情), "love" or "romance." In mainland China since 1949, airen (愛人, originally "lover," or more literally, "love person") is the dominant word for "spouse" (with separate terms for "wife" and "husband" originally being de-emphasized).
• Lian (戀) is not generally used alone, but instead as part of such terms as "being in love" (談戀愛, tan lian'ai — also containing ai), "lover" (戀人, lianren) or "homosexuality" (同性戀, tongxinglian).
• Qing (情), commonly meaning "feeling" or "emotion," often indicates "love" in several terms. It is contained in the word aiqing (愛情); qingren (情人) is a term for "lover". It is comparable to the English word "dear".
In Confucianism, lian is a virtuous benevolent love. Lian should be pursued by all human beings, and reflects a moral life. The Chinese philosopher Mozi developed the concept of ai (愛) in reaction to Confucian lian. Ai, in Mohism, is universal love towards all beings, not just towards friends or family, without regard to reciprocation. Extravagance and offensive war are inimical to ai. Although Mozi's thought was influential, the Confucian lian is how most Chinese conceive of love.
Gănqíng (感情), the feeling of a relationship. A person will express love by building good gănqíng, accomplished through helping or working for another. Emotional attachment toward another person or anything.
Yuanfen (緣份) is a connection of bound destinies. A meaningful relationship is often conceived of as dependent strong yuanfen. It is very similar to serendipity. A similar conceptualization in English is, "They were made for each other," "fate," or "destiny".
Zaolian (Simplified: 早恋, Traditional: 早戀, pinyin: zǎoliàn), "puppy love" or literally "early love," is a contemporary term in frequent use for romantic feelings or attachments among children or adolescents. Zaolian describes both relationships among a teenaged boyfriend and girlfriend, as well as the "crushes" of early adolescence or childhood. The concept essentially indicates a prevalent belief in contemporary Chinese culture that due to the demands of their studies (especially true in the highly competitive educational system of China), youth should not form romantic attachments lest they jeopardize their chances for success in the future. Reports have appeared in Chinese newspapers and other media detailing the prevalence of the phenomenon and its perceived dangers to students and the fears of parents.
[edit] Japanese
In Japanese Buddhism, ai (愛) is passionate caring love, and a fundamental desire. It can develop towards either selfishness or selflessness and enlightenment.
Amae (甘え), a Japanese word meaning "indulgent dependence", is part of the child-rearing culture of Japan. Japanese mothers are expected to hug and indulge their children, and children are expected to reward their mothers by clinging and serving. Some sociologists (most notably, Takeo Doi) have suggested that Japanese social interactions in later life are modeled on the mother-child amae.
Linguistically, the two most common words for love are ai （愛）and koi (恋). Generally speaking, most forms of non-romantic love are expressed using the former, while romantic love is expressed using the latter. "Parental love", for example, is oya no ai (親の愛), while "to be in love with" is koi suru (恋する). There are of course exceptions. The word aijin (愛人) means "lover" and implies an illicit, often extramarital relationship, whereas koibito (恋人) has the connotation of "boyfriend", "girlfriend", or "partner".
In everyday conversation, however, ai (愛) and koi (恋) are rarely used because to many Japanese people the word "ai" sounds either overly dramatic or desperate. Rather than using ai shiteiru (愛している) or koi shiteiru (恋している) to say "I love you", for example, most Japanese would say daisuki desu (大好きです), which means "I really like you" -- suki (好き) being the same word used to express preferences for food, music, etc., as in sushi ga suki desu (寿司が好きです), or "I like sushi." Rather than diluting the sentiment, however, the implied meaning of "love" is understood. (The phrase ai shiteiru (愛している), "I love you", however, tends to show up frequently in pop song love ballads.)
[edit] Greek
See also: Greek words for love
Greek distinguishes several different senses in which the word love is used. For example, ancient Greek has the words philia, eros, agape, storge and xenia. As with many other languages, it is difficult to separate the meanings of these words totally. The ancient Greek text of the Bible has examples of the verb agapo being used with the same meaning as phileo.[citation needed]
Agape (ἀγάπη agápē) means love in modern day Greek. The term s'agapo means I love you in Greek. The word agapo is the verb I love. It generally refers to a "pure", ideal type of love rather than the physical attraction suggested by eros. However, there are some examples of agape used to mean the same as eros. It has also been translated as "love of the soul".
Eros (ἔρως érōs) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Greek word erota means in love. Plato refined his own definition. Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. Eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty, and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth by eros. Some translations list it as "love of the body".
Philia (φιλία philía), means friendship in modern Greek, a dispassionate virtuous love, was a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. Philia is motivated by practical reasons; one or both of the parties benefit from the relationship.
Storge (στοργή storgē) means affection in modern Greek; it is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring.
Xenia (ξενία philoxenía), means hospitality in modern Greek, and was an extremely important practice in ancient Greece. It was an almost ritualized friendship formed between a host and their guest, who could previously be strangers. The host fed and provided quarters for the guest, who was only expected to repay with gratitude. The importance of this can be seen throughout Greek mythology, in particular Homer's Iliad and Odyssey.
[edit] Latin
'Sacred Love versus Profane Love' by Giovanni Baglione
The Latin language has several different verbs corresponding to the English word 'love'.
Amore is the basic word for to love, as it still is in Italian today. The Romans used it both in an affectionate sense, as well as in a romantic or sexual sense. From this verb come amans, a lover, amator, 'professional lover', often with the accessory notion of lechery, and amica, 'girlfriend' in the English sense, often as well being applied euphemistically to a prostitute. The corresponding noun is amor, which is also used in the plural form to indicate 'love affairs' or 'sexual adventures'. This same root also produces amicus, 'friend', and amicitia, 'friendship' ed on mutual advantage, and corresponding sometimes more closely to 'indebtedness' or 'influence'). Cicero wrote a treatise called On Friendship (de Amicitia) which discusses the notion at some length. Ovid wrote a guide to dating called Ars Amatoria (The Art of Lovers), which addresses in depth everything from extramarital affairs to overprotective parents.
Complicating the picture somewhat, Latin sometimes uses amare where English would simply say to like; this notion, however, is much more generally expressed in Latin by placere or delectare, which are used more colloquially, and the latter of which is used frequently in the love poetry of Catullus.
Diligere often has the notion 'to be affectionate for', 'to esteem', and rarely if ever is used of romantic love. This word would be appropriate to describe the friendship between two men. The corresponding noun diligentia, however, has the meaning 'diligence' 'carefulness' and has little semantic overlap with the verb.
Observare is a synonym for 'diligere'; despite the cognate with English, this verb and its corresponding noun 'observantia' often denote 'esteem' or 'affection'.
Caritas is used in Latin translations of the Christian Bible to mean 'charitable love'. This meaning, however, is not found in Classical pagan Roman literature. As it arises from a conflation with a Greek word, there is no corresponding verb.
[edit] Indonesian
In Indonesia, the word Cinta literally means love and describes the interpersonal feeling of affection. In everyday conversation, Cinta gives more romantic and dramatic value, but in some condition, cinta kasih can describe a general love and compassion. Kasih literally means giving, however, Kekasih (kasih with infix -ek-) means a lover. However, in everyday conversation, sayang is used more generally as an expression of romantic affection.
[edit] Filipino Concepts
In Filipino concepts love is expressed in a wide variety of terms. In Filipino culture, love is divided between purely personal and reciprocal variants. These terms are conveyed in the Tagalog, the most widely-spoken language in the Philippines beside English:
Ibig is used to imply a fond love, and is used in to convey desire in an affection. An example is: "Umibig si Ningning kay Buboy" (Ningning loves Buboy). It is a commonly used term in casual conversation of the topic. Yet in courtship or between couples, the term "Iniibig kita" - "I love you" is understood to be an intimate, romantic love.(Cebuano language: Gugma)
Mahal implies a highly valued affection. Its literal meaning is close to the English word "dear", in terms of expense, with an emphasis on that love being reciprocal. An example would be the phrase "Mahal kita" - "I love you". As well as being a main term for love between partners or in courtship, it is also the main term to express Platonic love. An example phrase is: "Mahalin mo ang iyong mga Magulang" (Love your parents.)
Giliw is used to term a "yearning intent love" harboured personally for someone, declared or undeclared. It has connotations of personal loneliness when the partner or person for whom such feelings are directed towards, is absent. Used in situations to prove or emphasize a persons affections for another. It is also used as an endearing address similar to the English word "baby".
Sinta is a confident reciprocal established romantic love between partners, where both partners consider an equally high affection for each other. Because sinta is an archaic term (equivalent linguistically to the Malay/Indonesian word Cinta, but differing in its exact connotation), it is considered malalim (deep) and poetic. Hence sinta is rarely used in everyday conversation, but may be used by couples in an address similar to the English terms "darling" or "dearest".
Pagnanais is used to convey a heavy desire with a main focus on the partner or courtee. It places focus on the actor achieving a higher stage of affection, such as sinta, with the object of affection. In contrast to the other terms, the linguistic element of pagnanais, which has its root in nais (to want), is a more grave wanting love. Because of the root word's meaning, it is avoided as a term in conversation when referring to affections, but its rather used for "wanting and liking" a certain object.
[edit] The Urdu Language
In the Urdu language (the official language of Pakistan) there are several different words for love. Used in specific contexts they display the diverse levels of intensity of love. “Ishq” is the word that is used for the most intense form of love. Ishq is divided into two categories; “Ishq-e-ilahi” is the love for God and “Ishq-e-Majazi” is the love for another human being. Ishq is defined as unconditional and undying love for the other. “Pyar” and “Mohabbat” are two other more commonly used words to define love.
[edit] See also
Human bonding
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
Close relationships
Types of relationships
Boyfriend • Casual • Cohabitation • Concubinage • Courtesan • Domestic partnership • Family • Friendship • Girlfriend • Husband • Kinship • Marriage • Mistress (lover) • Monogamy • Non-monogamy • Pederasty • Polyamory • Polyfidelity • Polygamy • Romantic friendship • Same-sex relationship • Significant other • Soulmate • Widowhood • Wife
Major relationship events
Courtship • Bonding • Divorce • Relationship breakup • Romance • Separation • Wedding
Feelings and emotions
Affinity • Attachment • Compersion • Infatuation • Intimacy • Jealousy • Limerence • Love • Passion • Platonic love • Polyamory • Psychology of sexual monogamy
Human practices
Bride price (Dower • Dowry) • Hypergamy • Relationship abuse (Child abuse • Elder abuse • Spousal abuse) • Sexuality • Teen dating violence
v • d • e
Human bonding refers to the development of a close, interpersonal relationship between family members or friends.[1] Bonding is a mutual, interactive process, and is not the same as simple liking.
The term is from the 12th century, Middle English word band or band, which refers to something that binds, ties, or restrains. In early usage, a bondman, bondwoman, or bondservant was a feudal serf that was obligated to work for his or her lord without pay. In modern usage, a bondsman is a person who provides bonds or surety for someone.
Bonding typically refers to the process of attachment that develops between romantic partners, close friends, or parents and children. This bond is characterized by emotions such as affection and trust. Any two people that spend time together may form a bond.
Male bonding refers to the establishment of relationships between men through shared activities that often exclude females. The term female bonding is less frequently used, but refers to the formation of close personal relationships between women.[2]
Contents
[hide]
• 1 Early views
• 2 Pair bonding
o 2.1 Limerent bond
• 3 Parental bonding
o 3.1 Attachment
o 3.2 Maternal bonding
o 3.3 Paternal bonding
• 4 Human-animal bonding
• 5 Neurobiology
• 6 Weak ties
• 7 Debonding and loss
• 8 See also
• 9 References
• 10 Further reading
o 10.1 Books
o 10.2 Articles
• 11 External links
o 11.1 Relationships
o 11.2 Baby bonding
o 11.3 Adoption bonding
o 11.4 Human-animal bonding
[edit] Early views
In the 4th century BC, the Greek philosopher Plato argued that love directs the bonds of human society. In his Symposium, Eryximachus, one of the narrators in the dialog, states that love goes far beyond simple attraction to human beauty. He states that it occurs throughout the animal and plant kingdoms, as well as throughout the universe. Love directs everything that occurs, in the realm of the gods as well as that of humans (186a-b).
Eyrximachus reasons that when various opposing elements such as wet and dry are "animated by the proper species of Love, they are in harmony with one another... But when the sort of Love that is crude and impulsive controls the seasons, he brings death and destruction" (188a). Because it is love that guides the relations between these sets of opposites throughout existence, in every case it is the higher form of love that brings harmony and cleaves toward the good, whereas the impulsive vulgar love creates disharmony.
Plato concludes that the highest form of love is the greatest. When love "is directed, in temperance and justice, towards the good, whether in heaven or on earth: happiness and good fortune, the bonds of human society, concord with the gods above- all these are among his gifts" (188d).
In the 1660s, the Dutch philosopher Spinoza wrote, in his Ethics of Human Bondage or the Strength of the Emotions, that the term "bondage" relates to the human infirmity in moderating and checking the emotions. That is, according to Spinoza, "when a man is prey to his emotions, he is not his own master, but lies at the mercy of fortune."
In 1809 Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, in his classic novella Elective Affinities, wrote of the "marriage tie," and by analogy shows how strong marriage unions are similar in character to that by which the particles of quicksilver find a unity together though the process of chemical affinity. Humans in passionate relationships, according to Goethe, are analogous to reactive substances in a chemical equation.
[edit] Pair bonding
Main article: Pair bond
The term, pair-bond originated in 1940 in reference to mated pairs of birds. It is a generic term signifying a monogamous or relatively monogamous relationship in either humans or animals. The term is commonly used in sociobiology and evolutionary psychology.[3] Pair-bonding, usually of a fairly short duration, occurs in a variety of primate species. Some scientists speculate that prolonged bonds developed in humans along with increased sharing of food.[4]
[edit] Limerent bond
Main article: Limerence
According to limerence theory, positioned in 1979 by psychologist Dorothy Tennov, a certain percentage of couples may go through what is called a limerent reaction, in which one or both of the pair may experience a state of passion mixed with continuous intrusive thinking, fear of rejection, and hope. Hence, with all human romantic relationships, one of three varieties of bonds may form, defined over a set duration of time, in relation to the experience or non-experience of limerence:
1. Affectional bond: define relationships in which neither partner is limerent.
2. Limerent-Nonlimerent bond: define relationships in which one partner is limerent.
3. Limerent-Limerent bond: define relationships in which both partners are limerent.
The constitution of these bonds may vary over the course of the relationship, in ways that may either increase or decrease the intensity of the limerence. The basis and interesting characteristic of this delineation made by Tennov, is that based on her research and interviews with over 500 people, all human bonded relationships can be divided into three varieties being defined by the amount of limerence or non-limerence each partner contributes to the relationship.
A mother breast feeding - a process that facilitates mother-infant bonding.
[edit] Parental bonding
[edit] Attachment
Main articles: Affectional bond and Attachment theory
In 1958, British developmental psychologist John Bowlby published the ground-breaking paper "the Nature of the Child's Tie to his Mother", in which the precursory concepts of "attachment theory" were developed. This included the development of the concept of the affectional bond, sometimes referred to as the emotional bond, which is based on the universal tendency for humans to attach, i.e. to seek closeness to another person and to feel secure when that person is present. Attachment theory has some of its origins in the observation of and experiments with animals, but is also based on observations of children who had missed typical experiences of adult care. Much of the early research on attachment in humans was done by John Bowlby and his associates. Bowlby proposed that babies have an inbuilt need from birth to make emotional attachments, i.e. bonds, because this increases the chances of survival by ensuring that they receive the care they need.[5][6][7]
[edit] Maternal bonding
Main article: Maternal bond
Of all human bonds, the maternal bond is considered to be one of the strongest. The maternal bond begins to develop during pregnancy; following pregnancy, the production of oxytocin during lactation increases parasympathetic activity, thus reducing anxiety and theoretically fostering bonding. It is generally understood that maternal oxytocin circulation can predispose some mammals to show caregiving behavior in response to young of their species.
Breastfeeding has been reported to foster the early post-partum maternal bond, via touch, response, and mutual gazing.[8] Extensive claims for the effect of breastfeeding were made in the 1930s by Margaret Ribble, a champion of "infant rights"[9], but were rejected on scientific grounds.[10] The claimed effect is not universal, and bottle-feeding mothers are generally appropriately concerned with their babies. It is difficult to determine the extent of causality due to a number of confounding variables, such as the varied reasons families choose different feeding methods. Many believe that early bonding ideally increases response and sensitivity to the child's needs, bolstering the quality of the mother-baby relationship – however, many exceptions can be found of highly successful mother-baby bonds, even though early breastfeeding did not occur, such as with premature infants who may lack the necessary sucking strength to successfully breastfeed.
Father playing with his young daughter - an activity that tends to strengthen the father-child bond.
[edit] Paternal bonding
Main article: Paternal bond
In contrast to the maternal bond, paternal bonds tend to vary greatly over the span of a child’s development in terms of both strength and stability. In fact, many children now grow up in fatherless households and do not experience a paternal bond at all. In general, paternal bonding is more dominant later in a child’s life after language develops. Fathers may be more influential in play-interactions as opposed to nurturance-interactions. Father-child bonds also tend to develop with respect to topics such as political views or money, whereas mother-child bonds tend to develop in relation to topics such as religious views or general outlooks on life.[11]
In 2003, researcher from Northwestern University in Illinois found that progesterone, a hormone more usually associated with pregnancy and maternal bonding, may also control the way men react towards their children. Specifically, they found that a lack of progesterone reduced aggressive behaviour in male mice and stimulated them to act in a fatherly way towards their offspring.[12]
[edit] Human-animal bonding
Main articles: Pet and Animal love
Human-animal bond human to animal contact is known to reduce the physiological characteristics of stress.
The human-animal bond can be defined as a connection between people and animals, domestic or wild; be it a cat as a pet or birds outside one’s window. Research into the nature and merit of the human animal bond began in the late 1700s when, in York, England, the Society of Friends established the The Retreat to provide humane treatment for the mentally ill. By having patients care for the many farm animals on the estate, society officials theorized that the combination of animal contact plus productive work would facilitate the patients’ rehabilitation. In the 1870s in Paris, a French surgeon had patients with neurological disorders ride horses. The patients were found to have improved their motor control and balance and were less likely to suffer bouts of depression.[13]
In the 19th century, in Bielefeld, Germany, epileptic patients were given the prescription to spend time each day taking care of cats and dogs. The contact with the animals was found to reduce the occurrence of seizures. In 1980, a team of scientists at the University of Pennsylvania found that human to animal contact was found to reduce the physiological characteristics of stress; specifically, lowered levels of blood pressure, heart rate, respiratory rate, anxiety, and tension were all found to correlate positively with human pet bonding.[13]
Historically, animals were domesticated for functional use; for example, dogs for herding and tracking, and cats for killing mice or rats. Today, in Western societies, their function is primarily a bonding function. For example, current studies show that 60–80% of dogs sleep with their owners at night in the bedroom, either in or on the bed.[14] Moreover, in the past the majority of cats were kept outside (barn cats) whereas today most cats are kept indoors (housecats) and considered part of the family. Presently, in the US, for example, 1.2 billion animals are kept as pets, primarily for bonding purposes.[14] In addition, as of 1995 there were over 30 research institutions looking into the potential benefits of the human animal bond.[13]
[edit] Neurobiology
There is evidence in a variety of species that the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin are involved in the bonding process, and in other forms of prosocial and reproductive behavior. Both chemicals facilitate pair bonding and maternal behavior in experiments on laboratory animals. In humans, there is evidence that oxytocin and vasopressin are released during labor and breastfeeding, and that these events are associated with maternal bonding. According to one model, social isolation leads to stress, which is associated with activity in the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis and the release of cortisol. Positive social interaction is associated with increased oxytocin. This leads to bonding, which is also associated with higher levels of oxytocin and vasopressin, and reduced stress and stress-related hormones.[15]
Oxytocin is associated with higher levels of trust in laboratory studies on humans. It has been called the "cuddle chemical" for its role in facilitating trust and attachment.[16] In the reward centers of the limbic system, the neurotransmitter, dopamine may interact with oxytocin and further increase the likelihood of bonding. One team of researchers has argued that oxytocin only plays a secondary role in affiliation, and that endogenous opiates play the central role. According to this model, affiliation is a function of the brain systems underlying reward and memory formation.[17]
Because the vast majority of this research has been done on animals-- and the majority of that on rodents-- these findings must be taken with caution when applied to humans. One of the few studies that looked at the influence of hormones on human bonding compared participants who had recently fallen in love with a control group. There were no differences for most of the hormones measured, including LH, estradiol, progesterone, DHEAS, and androstenedione. Testosterone and FSH were lower in men who had recently fallen in love, and there was also a difference in blood cortisol for both sexes, with higher levels in the group that was in love. These differences disappeared after 12-28 months and may reflect the temporary stress and arousal of a new relationship.[18]
[edit] Weak ties
Main article: Interpersonal ties
In 1962, Mark Granovetter, a freshman history major at Harvard, became enamored with the concepts underlying the classic chemistry lecture in which "weak" hydrogen bonds hold huge water molecule together, which themselves are held together by "strong" covalent bonds. This model was the stimulus behind his famous 1973 paper The Strength of Weak Ties, which is now considered a classic paper in sociology.
Weak social bonds are believed to be responsible for the majority of the embeddedness and structure of social networks in society as well as the transmission of information through these networks. Specifically, more novel information flows to individuals through weak than through strong ties. Because our close friends tend to move in the same circles that we do, the information they receive overlaps considerably with what we already know. Acquaintances, by contrast, know people that we do not, and thus receive more novel information.[19]
[edit] Debonding and loss
In 1976, sociologist Diane Vaughan proposed an “uncoupling theory”, where, during the dynamics of relationship breakup, there exists "turning point", only noted in hindsight, followed by transition period in which one partner unconsciously knows the relationship is going to end, but holds on to it for an extended period, sometimes for a number of years.[20]
When a person to which one has become bonded is lost, a grief response may occur. Grief is the process of accepting the loss and adjusting to the changed situation. Grief may take longer than the initial development of the bond, typically one to two years for the loss of a marital partner. The grief process varies with culture.
[edit] See also
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Love
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
For other uses, see Love (disambiguation).
Part of a series on Love
Basic Aspects
Love
Love (scientific views)
Love (virtue)
Love (cultural views)
Human bonding
Historically
Courtly love
Greek love
Religious love
Types of emotion
Erotic love
Platonic love
Familial love
Romantic love
See also
Unrequited love
Love sickness
Interpersonal relationship
Sexuality
Sexual intercourse
Cultural views of love
Valentine's Day
This box: view • talk • edit
Close relationships
Types of relationships
Boyfriend • Casual • Cohabitation • Concubinage • Courtesan • Domestic partnership • Family • Friendship • Girlfriend • Husband • Kinship • Marriage • Mistress (lover) • Monogamy • Non-monogamy • Pederasty • Polyamory • Polyfidelity • Polygamy • Romantic friendship • Same-sex relationship • Significant other • Soulmate • Widowhood • Wife
Major relationship events
Courtship • Bonding • Divorce • Relationship breakup • Romance • Separation • Wedding
Feelings and emotions
Affinity • Attachment • Compersion • Infatuation • Intimacy • Jealousy • Limerence • Love • Passion • Platonic love • Polyamory • Psychology of sexual monogamy
Human practices
Bride price (Dower • Dowry) • Hypergamy • Relationship abuse (Child abuse • Elder abuse • Spousal abuse) • Sexuality • Teen dating violence
v • d • e
The stylized heart symbol is a traditional European icon representing love.
This article about a trait that is shared between many species might have an extensive bias or disproportional coverage towards one species. Please improve this article or discuss the issue on the talk page.
Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection[1] and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure to intense interpersonal attraction. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my girlfriend"). This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.
As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love[2] to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love.[3] Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.
Contents
[hide]
• 1 Definitions
• 2 Impersonal love
• 3 Interpersonal love
o 3.1 Chemical basis
o 3.2 Psychological basis
o 3.3 Comparison of scientific models
• 4 Cultural views
o 4.1 Persian
o 4.2 Chinese and other Sinic cultures
o 4.3 Japanese
o 4.4 Ancient Greek
o 4.5 Turkish (Shaman & Islamic)
o 4.6 Ancient Roman (Latin)
• 5 Religious views
o 5.1 Christian
o 5.2 Buddhist
o 5.3 Indic and Hindu
o 5.4 Arabic and Islamic
o 5.5 Jewish
• 6 References
• 7 Sources
• 8 See also
• 9 External links
Definitions
The English word "love" can have a variety of related but distinct meanings in different contexts. Often, other languages use multiple words to express some of the different concepts that English relies mainly on "love" to encapsulate; one example is the plurality of Greek words for "love." Cultural differences in conceptualizing love thus make it doubly difficult to establish any universal definition.[4]
Although the nature or essence of love is a subject of frequent debate, different aspects of the word can be clarified by determining what isn't love. As a general expression of positive sentiment (a stronger form of like), love is commonly contrasted with hate (or neutral apathy); as a less sexual and more emotionally intimate form of romantic attachment, love is commonly contrasted with lust; and as an interpersonal relationship with romantic overtones, love is commonly contrasted with friendship, although other definitions of the word love may be applied to close friendships in certain contexts.
When discussed in the abstract, love usually refers to interpersonal love, an experience felt by a person for another person. Love often involves caring for or identifying with a person or thing, including oneself (cf. narcissism).
In addition to cross-cultural differences in understanding love, ideas about love have also changed greatly over time. Some historians date modern conceptions of romantic love to courtly Europe during or after the Middle Ages, although the prior existence of romantic attachments is attested by ancient love poetry.[5]
Because of the complex and abstract nature of love, discourse on love is commonly reduced to a thought-terminating cliché, and there are a number of common proverbs regarding love, from Virgil's "Love conquers all" to the Beatles' "All you need is love." Bertrand Russell describes love as a condition of "absolute value," as opposed to relative value. Theologian Thomas Jay Oord said that to love is to "act intentionally, in sympathetic response to others, to promote overall well-being."[citation needed] Philosopher Gottfried Leibniz said that love is "to be delighted by the happiness of another."[6]
Impersonal love
A person can be said to love a country, principle, or goal if they value it greatly and are deeply committed to it. Similarly, compassionate outreach and volunteer workers' "love" of their cause may sometimes be borne not of interpersonal love, but impersonal love coupled with altruism and strong political convictions. People can also "love" material objects, animals, or activities if they invest themselves in bonding or otherwise identifying with those things. If sexual passion is also involved, this condition is called paraphilia.[7]
Interpersonal love
Interpersonal love refers to love between human beings. It is a more potent sentiment than a simple liking for another. Unrequited love refers to those feelings of love that are not reciprocated. Interpersonal love is most closely associated with interpersonal relationships. Such love might exist between family members, friends, and couples. There are also a number of psychological disorders related to love, such as erotomania.
Throughout history, philosophy and religion have done the most speculation on the phenomenon of love. In the last century, the science of psychology has written a great deal on the subject. In recent years, the sciences of evolutionary psychology, evolutionary biology, anthropology, neuroscience, and biology have added to the understanding of the nature and function of love.
Chemical basis
Simplistic overview of the chemical basis of love.
Main article: Love (scientific views)
Biological models of sex tend to view love as a mammalian drive, much like hunger or thirst.[8] Helen Fisher, a leading expert in the topic of love, divides the experience of love into three partly overlapping stages: lust, attraction, and attachment. Lust exposes people to others; romantic attraction encourages people to focus their energy on mating; and attachment involves tolerating the spouse (or indeed the child) long enough to rear a child into infancy.
Lust is the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes mating, and involves the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and estrogen. These effects rarely last more than a few weeks or months. Attraction is the more individualized and romantic desire for a specific candidate for mating, which develops out of lust as commitment to an individual mate forms. Recent studies in neuroscience have indicated that as people fall in love, the brain consistently releases a certain set of chemicals, including pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, which act in a manner similar to amphetamines, stimulating the brain's pleasure center and leading to side effects such as increased heart rate, loss of appetite and sleep, and an intense feeling of excitement. Research has indicated that this stage generally lasts from one and a half to three years.[9]
Since the lust and attraction stages are both considered temporary, a third stage is needed to account for long-term relationships. Attachment is the bonding that promotes relationships lasting for many years and even decades. Attachment is generally based on commitments such as marriage and children, or on mutual friendship based on things like shared interests. It has been linked to higher levels of the chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin to a greater degree than short-term relationships have.[9]
The protein molecule known as the nerve growth factor (NGF) has high levels when people first fall in love, but these return to previous levels after one year. [10]
Psychological basis
Grandmother and grandchild,
Sri Lanka.
Further information: Human bonding
Psychology depicts love as a cognitive and social phenomenon. Psychologist Robert Sternberg formulated a triangular theory of love and argued that love has three different components: intimacy, commitment, and passion. Intimacy is a form in which two people share confidences and various details of their personal lives, and is usually shown in friendships and romantic love affairs. Commitment, on the other hand, is the expectation that the relationship is permanent. The last and most common form of love is sexual attraction and passion. Passionate love is shown in infatuation as well as romantic love. All forms of love are viewed as varying combinations of these three components. American psychologist Zick Rubin seeks to define love by psychometrics. His work states that three factors constitute love: attachment, caring, and intimacy.[11][12]
Fraternal love (Prehispanic sculpture from 250–900 A.D., of Huastec origin). Museum of Anthropology in Xalapa, Veracruz, Mexico.
Following developments in electrical theories such as Coulomb's law, which showed that positive and negative charges attract, analogs in human life were developed, such as "opposites attract." Over the last century, research on the nature of human mating has generally found this not to be true when it comes to character and personality—people tend to like people similar to themselves. However, in a few unusual and specific domains, such as immune systems, it seems that humans prefer others who are unlike themselves (e.g., with an orthogonal immune system), since this will lead to a baby that has the best of both worlds.[13] In recent years, various human bonding theories have been developed, described in terms of attachments, ties, bonds, and affinities.
Some Western authorities disaggregate into two main components, the altruistic and the narcissistic. This view is represented in the works of Scott Peck, whose work in the field of applied psychology explored the definitions of love and evil. Peck maintains that love is a combination of the "concern for the spiritual growth of another," and simple narcissism.[14] In combination, love is an activity, not simply a feeling.
Sacred Love Versus Profane Love (1602–03) by Giovanni Baglione.
Comparison of scientific models
Biological models of love tend to see it as a mammalian drive, similar to hunger or thirst.[8] Psychology sees love as more of a social and cultural phenomenon. There are probably elements of truth in both views. Certainly love is influenced by hormones (such as oxytocin), neurotrophins (such as NGF), and pheromones, and how people think and behave in love is influenced by their conceptions of love. The conventional view in biology is that there are two major drives in love: sexual attraction and attachment. Attachment between adults is presumed to work on the same principles that lead an infant to become attached to its mother. The traditional psychological view sees love as being a combination of companionate love and passionate love. Passionate love is intense longing, and is often accompanied by physiological arousal (shortness of breath, rapid heart rate); companionate love is affection and a feeling of intimacy not accompanied by physiological arousal.
Studies have shown that brain scans of those infatuated by love display a resemblance to those with a mental illness. Love creates activity in the same area of the brain where hunger, thirst, and drug cravings create activity. New love, therefore, could possibly be more physical than emotional. Over time, this reaction to love mellows, and different areas of the brain are activated, primarily ones involving long-term commitments. Dr. Andrew Newberg, a neuroscientist, suggests that this reaction to love is so similar to that of drugs because without love, humanity would die out.[citation needed]
Cultural views
Persian
Even after all this time
The sun never says to the earth, "You owe me."
Look what happens with a Love like that!
—It lights the whole Sky. (Hafiz)
Rumi, Hafez and Sa'di are icons of the passion and love that the Persian culture and language present. The Persian word for love is eshgh, deriving from the Arabic ishq. In the Persian culture, everything is encompassed by love and all is for love, starting from loving friends and family, husbands and wives, and eventually reaching the divine love that is the ultimate goal in life. Over seven centuries ago, Sa'di wrote:
The children of Adam are limbs of one body
Having been created of one essence.
When the calamity of time afflicts one limb
The other limbs cannot remain at rest.
If you have no sympathy for the troubles of others
You are not worthy to be called by the name of "man."
Chinese and other Sinic cultures
The traditional Chinese character for love (愛) consists of a heart (middle) inside of "accept," "feel," or "perceive," which shows a graceful emotion.
In contemporary Chinese language and culture, several terms or root words are used for the concept of love:
• It was the Qing‘s emperor first word of name.
• Ai (愛) is used as a verb (e.g., Wo ai ni, "I love you") or as a noun, especially in aiqing (愛情), "love" or "romance." In mainland China since 1949, airen (愛人, originally "lover," or more literally, "love person") is the dominant word for "spouse" (with separate terms for "wife" and "husband" originally being de-emphasized); the word once had a negative connotation, which it retains among many in Taiwan.
• Lian (戀) is not generally used alone, but instead as part of such terms as "being in love" (談戀愛, tan lian'ai—also containing ai), "lover" (戀人, lianren) or "homosexuality" (同性戀, tongxinglian).
• Qing (情), commonly meaning "feeling" or "emotion," often indicates "love" in several terms. It is contained in the word aiqing (愛情); qingren (情人) is a term for "lover."
In Confucianism, lian is a virtuous benevolent love. Lian should be pursued by all human beings, and reflects a moral life. The Chinese philosopher Mozi developed the concept of ai (愛) in reaction to Confucian lian. Ai, in Mohism, is universal love towards all beings, not just towards friends or family, without regard to reciprocation. Extravagance and offensive war are inimical to ai. Although Mozi's thought was influential, the Confucian lian is how most Chinese conceive of love.
Gănqíng (感情) is the "feeling" of a relationship, vaguely similar to empathy. A person will express love by building good gănqíng, accomplished through helping or working for another and emotional attachment toward another person or anything.
Yuanfen (緣份) is a connection of bound destinies. A meaningful relationship is often conceived of as dependent strong yuanfen. It is very similar to serendipity. A similar conceptualization in English is, "They were made for each other," "fate," or "destiny."
Zaolian (Simplified: 早恋, Traditional: 早戀, pinyin: zǎoliàn), literally "early love," is a contemporary term in frequent use for romantic feelings or attachments among children or adolescents. Zaolian describes both relationships among a teenage boyfriend and girlfriend as well as the "crushes" of early adolescence or childhood. The concept essentially indicates a prevalent belief in contemporary Chinese culture, which is that, due to the demands of their studies (especially true in the highly competitive educational system of China), youth should not form romantic attachments lest their jeopardize their chances for success in the future. Reports have appeared in Chinese newspapers and other media detailing the prevalence of the phenomenon and its perceived dangers to students and the fears of parents.
Japanese
In Japanese Buddhism, ai (愛) is passionate caring love, and a fundamental desire. It can develop towards either selfishness or selflessness and enlightenment.
Amae (甘え), a Japanese word meaning "indulgent dependence," is part of the child-rearing culture of Japan. Japanese mothers are expected to hug and indulge their children, and children are expected to reward their mothers by clinging and serving. Some sociologists have suggested that Japanese social interactions in later life are modeled on the mother-child amae.
Ancient Greek
Greek distinguishes several different senses in which the word "love" is used. For example, Ancient Greek has the words philia, eros, agape, storge, and xenia. However, with Greek (as with many other languages), it has been historically difficult to separate the meanings of these words totally. At the same time, the Ancient Greek text of the Bible has examples of the verb agapo having the same meaning as phileo.
Agape (ἀγάπη agápē) means love in modern-day Greek. The term s'agapo means I love you in Greek. The word agapo is the verb I love. It generally refers to a "pure," ideal type of love, rather than the physical attraction suggested by eros. However, there are some examples of agape used to mean the same as eros. It has also been translated as "love of the soul."
Eros (ἔρως érōs) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Greek word erota means in love. Plato refined his own definition. Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. Eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth by eros. Some translations list it as "love of the body."
Philia (φιλία philía), a dispassionate virtuous love, was a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality, and familiarity. Philia is motivated by practical reasons; one or both of the parties benefit from the relationship. It can also mean "love of the mind."
Storge (στοργή storgē) is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring.
Xenia (ξενία xenía), hospitality, was an extremely important practice in Ancient Greece. It was an almost ritualized friendship formed between a host and his guest, who could previously have been strangers. The host fed and provided quarters for the guest, who was expected to repay only with gratitude. The importance of this can be seen throughout Greek mythology—in particular, Homer's Iliad and Odyssey.
Turkish (Shaman & Islamic)
In Turkish, the word "love" comes up with several meanings. A person can love a god, a person, parents, or family. But that person can "love" just one person from the opposite sex, which they call the word "aşk." Aşk is a feeling for to love, as it still is in Turkish today. The Turks used this word just for their romantic loves in a romantic or sexual sense. If a Turk says that he is in love (aşk) with somebody, it is not a love that a person can feel for his or her parents; it is just for one person, and it indicates a huge infatuation. The word is also common for Turkic languages, such as Kazakh (ғашық).
Ancient Roman (Latin)
The Latin language has several different verbs corresponding to the English word "love."
Amāre is the basic word for to love, as it still is in Italian today. The Romans used it both in an affectionate sense as well as in a romantic or sexual sense. From this verb come amans—a lover, amator, "professional lover," often with the accessory notion of lechery—and amica, "girlfriend" in the English sense, often as well being applied euphemistically to a prostitute. The corresponding noun is amor, which is also used in the plural form to indicate love affairs or sexual adventures. This same root also produces amicus—"friend"—and amicitia, "friendship" (often based to mutual advantage, and corresponding sometimes more closely to "indebtedness" or "influence"). Cicero wrote a treatise called On Friendship (de Amicitia), which discusses the notion at some length. Ovid wrote a guide to dating called Ars Amatoria (The Art of Love), which addresses, in depth, everything from extramarital affairs to overprotective parents.
Complicating the picture somewhat, Latin sometimes uses amāre where English would simply say to like. This notion, however, is much more generally expressed in Latin by placere or delectāre, which are used more colloquially, the latter used frequently in the love poetry of Catullus.
Diligere often has the notion "to be affectionate for," "to esteem," and rarely if ever is used for romantic love. This word would be appropriate to describe the friendship of two men. The corresponding noun diligentia, however, has the meaning of "diligence" or "carefulness," and has little semantic overlap with the verb.
Observare is a synonym for diligere; despite the cognate with English, this verb and its corresponding noun, observantia, often denote "esteem" or "affection."
Caritas is used in Latin translations of the Christian Bible to mean "charitable love"; this meaning, however, is not found in Classical pagan Roman literature. As it arises from a conflation with a Greek word, there is no corresponding verb.
Religious views
Christian
The Christian understanding is that love comes from God. The love of man and woman—eros in Greek—and the unselfish love of others (agape), are often contrasted as "ascending" and "descending" love, respectively, but are ultimately the same thing.[15]
There are several Greek words for "love" that are regularly referred to in Christian circles.
• Agape: In the New Testament, agapē is charitable, selfless, altruistic, and unconditional. It is parental love, seen as creating goodness in the world; it is the way God is seen to love humanity, and it is seen as the kind of love that Christians aspire to have for one another.
• Phileo: Also used in the New Testament, phileo is a human response to something that is found to be delightful. Also known as "brotherly love."
• Two other words for love in the Greek language, eros (sexual love) and storge (child-to-parent love), were never used in the New Testament.
Christians believe that to Love God with all your heart, mind, and strength and Love your neighbor as yourself are the two most important things in life (the greatest commandment of the Jewish Torah, according to Jesus; cf. Gospel of Mark chapter 12, verses 28–34). Saint Augustine summarized this when he wrote "Love God, and do as thou wilt."
The Apostle Paul glorified love as the most important virtue of all. Describing love in the famous poem in 1 Corinthians, he wrote, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres." (1 Cor. 13:4–7, NIV)
The Apostle John wrote, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son." (John 3:16–18, NIV)
John also wrote, "Dear friends, let us love one another for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." (1 John 4:7–8, NIV)
Saint Augustine says that one must be able to decipher the difference between love and lust. Lust, according to Saint Augustine, is an overindulgence, but to love and be loved is what he has sought for his entire life. He even says, “I was in love with love.” Finally, he does fall in love and is loved back, by God. Saint Augustine says the only one who can love you truly and fully is God, because love with a human only allows for flaws such as “jealousy, suspicion, fear, anger, and contention.” According to Saint Augustine, to love God is “to attain the peace which is yours.” (Saint Augustine Confessions)
Christian theologians see God as the source of love, which is mirrored in humans and their own loving relationships. Influential Christian theologian C.S. Lewis wrote a book called The Four Loves.
Benedict XVI wrote his first encyclical on "God is love." He said that a human being, created in the image of God, who is love, is able to practice love; to give himself to God and others (agape) and by receiving and experiencing God's love in contemplation (eros). This life of love, according to him, is the life of the saints such as Teresa of Calcutta and the Blessed Virgin Mary and is the direction Christians take when they believe that God loves them.[15]
Buddhist
In Buddhism, Kāma is sensuous, sexual love. It is an obstacle on the path to enlightenment, since it is selfish.
Karuṇā is compassion and mercy, which reduces the suffering of others. It is complementary to wisdom and is necessary for enlightenment.
Adveṣa and maitrī are benevolent love. This love is unconditional and requires considerable self-acceptance. This is quite different from ordinary love, which is usually about attachment and sex and which rarely occurs without self-interest. Instead, in Buddhism it refers to detachment and unselfish interest in others' welfare.
The Bodhisattva ideal in Mahayana Buddhism involves the complete renunciation of oneself in order to take on the burden of a suffering world. The strongest motivation one has in order to take the path of the Bodhisattva is the idea of salvation within unselfish, altruistic love for all sentient beings.
Indic and Hindu
In Hinduism, kāma is pleasurable, sexual love, personified by the god Kamadeva. For many Hindu schools, it is the third end (artha) in life. Kamadeva is often pictured holding a bow of sugar cane and an arrow of flowers; he may ride upon a great parrot. He is usually accompanied by his consort Rati and his companion Vasanta, lord of the spring season. Stone images of Kaama and Rati can be seen on the door of the Chenna Keshava temple at Belur, in Karnataka, India. Maara is another name for kāma.
In contrast to kāma, prema—or prem—refers to elevated love. Karuna is compassion and mercy, which impels one to help reduce the suffering of others. Bhakti is a Sanskrit term, meaning "loving devotion to the supreme God." A person who practices bhakti is called a bhakta. Hindu writers, theologians, and philosophers have distinguished nine forms of bhakti, which can be found in the Bhagavatha-Purana and works by Tulsidas. The philosophical work Narada Bhakti Sutras, written by an unknown author (presumed to be Narada), distinguishes eleven forms of love.
Arabic and Islamic
In a sense, love does encompass the Islamic view of life as universal brotherhood that applies to all who hold the faith. There are no direct references stating that God is love, but amongst the 99 names of God (Allah), there is the name Al-Wadud, or "the Loving One," which is found in Surah 11:90 as well as Surah 85:14. It refers to God as being "full of loving kindness." All who hold the faith have God's love, but to what degree or effort he has pleased God depends on the individual itself.
Ishq, or divine love, is the emphasis of Sufism. Sufis believe that love is a projection of the essence of God to the universe. God desires to recognize beauty, and as if one looks at a mirror to see oneself, God "looks" at itself within the dynamics of nature. Since everything is a reflection of God, the school of Sufism practices to see the beauty inside the apparently ugly. Sufism is often referred to as the religion of love. God in Sufism is referred to in three main terms, which are the Lover, Loved, and Beloved, with the last of these terms being often seen in Sufi poetry. A common viewpoint of Sufism is that through love, humankind can get back to its inherent purity and grace. The saints of Sufism are infamous for being "drunk" due to their love of God; hence, the constant reference to wine in Sufi poetry and music.
Jewish
In Hebrew, Ahava is the most commonly used term for both interpersonal love and love of God.
Judaism employs a wide definition of love, both among people and between man and the Deity. Regarding the former, the Torah states, "Love your neighbor like yourself" (Leviticus 19:18). As for the latter, one is commanded to love God "with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might" (Deuteronomy 6:5), taken by the Mishnah (a central text of the Jewish oral law) to refer to good deeds, willingness to sacrifice one's life rather than commit certain serious transgressions, willingness to sacrifice all of one's possessions, and being grateful to the Lord despite adversity (tractate Berachoth 9:5). Rabbinic literature differs as to how this love can be developed, e.g., by contemplating divine deeds or witnessing the marvels of nature.
As for love between marital partners, this is deemed an essential ingredient to life: "See life with the wife you love" (Ecclesiastes 9:9). The biblical book Song of Solomon is considered a romantically phrased metaphor of love between God and his people, but in its plain reading, reads like a love song.
The 20th-century Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler is frequently quoted as defining love from the Jewish point of view as "giving without expecting to take" (from his Michtav me-Eliyahu, Vol. 1). Romantic love per se has few echoes in Jewish literature, although the Medieval Rabbi Judah Halevi wrote romantic poetry in Arabic in his younger years (he appears to have regretted this later).
References
1. ^ Oxford Illustrated American Dictionary (1998) + Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary (2000)
2. ^ Kristeller, Paul Oskar (1980). Renaissance Thought and the Arts: Collected Essays. Princeton University. ISBN 0-691-02010-8.
3. ^ Mascaró, Juan (2003). The Bhagavad Gita. Penguin Classics. ISBN 0-140-44918-3. (J. Mascaró, translator)
4. ^ Kay, Paul. "What is the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis?" American Anthropologist, New Series, Volume 86, No. 1, March 1984, pp. 65–79
5. ^ Ancient Love Poetry
6. ^ Gottfried Leibniz, Confessio philosophi. Wikisource edition, retrieved Mar 25, 2009.
7. ^ DiscoveryHealth, Paraphilia, http://health.discovery.com/centers/sex/sexpedia/paraphilia.html, retrieved on 2007-12-16
8. ^ a b Lewis, Thomas; Amini, F., & Lannon, R. (2000). A General Theory of Love. Random House. ISBN 0-375-70922-3.
9. ^ a b Winston, Robert (2004). Human. Smithsonian Institution.
10. ^ Emanuele, E.; Polliti, P.; Bianchi, M.; Minoretti, P.; Bertona, M.; & Geroldi, D. (2005). “Raised plasma nerve growth factor levels associated with early-stage romantic love.” Abstract. Psychoneuroendocrinology, Sept. 05.
11. ^ Rubin, Zick. "Measurement of Romantic Love." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,16, 265–273, 1970
12. ^ Rubin, Zick. Liking and Loving: an invitation to social psychology. New York: Holt, Rinehart & Winston, 1973
13. ^ Berscheid, Ellen; Walster, Elaine, H. (1969). Interpersonal Attraction. Addison-Wesley Publishing Co. CCCN 69-17443.
14. ^ Peck, Scott (1978). The Road Less Traveled. Simon & Schuster. p. 169. ISBN 0-671-25067-1.
15. ^ a b Pope Benedict XVI, papal encyclical, Deus Caritas Est.
Sources
• Chadwick, Henry. "Saint Augustine Confessions." Oxford University Press, 1998.
• Fisher, Helen. Why We Love: the Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love
• Singer, Irving. The Nature of Love, in three volumes, Random House (v.1, 1966), reprinted and later volumes from The University of Chicago Press, 1984. ISBN 0-226-76094-4
• Sternberg, R.J. A triangular theory of love. 1986. Psychological Review, 93, 119–135
• Sternberg, R.J. Liking versus loving: A comparative evaluation of theories. 1987. Psychological Bulletin, 102, 331–345
• Tennov, Dorothy. Love and Limerence: the Experience of Being in Love. New York: Stein and Day, 1979. ISBN 0-812-86134-5
• Wood Samuel E., Ellen Wood and Denise Boyd. The World of Psychology. 5th edition. 2005. Pearson Education, 402–403
See also
• Love letter
• Monogamy
• Haptic medicine
• Wikipedia Books: Love
External links
Look up love in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.
Wikiquote has a collection of quotations related to: Love
Look up I love you in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.
• The Science of Love
• A whimsical overview of scientific research on love, with references
[hide]
v • d • e
Emotions (list)
Affection • Ambivalence • Anger • Angst • Annoyance • Anticipation • Anxiety • Apathy • Awe • Boredom • Calmness • Compassion • Confusion • Contempt • Contentment • Curiosity • Depression • Desire • Disappointment • Disgust • Doubt • Ecstasy • Embarrassment • Empathy • Emptiness • Enthusiasm • Envy • Epiphany • Euphoria • Fanaticism • Fear • Frustration • Gratification • Gratitude • Grief • Guilt • Happiness • Hatred • Homesickness • Hope • Hostility • Humiliation • Hysteria • Inspiration • Interest • Jealousy • Kindness • Limerence • Loneliness • Love • Lust • Melancholia • Nostalgia • Panic • Patience • Pity • Pride • Rage • Regret • Remorse • Repentance • Resentment • Righteous indignation • Sadness • Saudade • Schadenfreude • Sehnsucht • Self-pity • Shame • Shyness • Suffering • Surprise • Suspicion • Sympathy • Wonder • Worry
See also: Meta-emotion
Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love"
Categories: Love | Personal life | Virtues | Positive psychology | Ethical principles
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Love (scientific views)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
Part of a series on Love
Basic Aspects
Love
Love (scientific views)
Love (virtue)
Love (cultural views)
Human bonding
Historically
Courtly love
Greek love
Religious love
Types of emotion
Erotic love
Platonic love
Familial love
Romantic love
See also
Unrequited love
Love sickness
Interpersonal relationship
Sexuality
Sexual intercourse
Cultural views of love
Valentine's Day
This box: view • talk • edit
Close relationships
Types of relationships
Boyfriend • Casual • Cohabitation • Concubinage • Courtesan • Domestic partnership • Family • Friendship • Girlfriend • Husband • Kinship • Marriage • Mistress (lover) • Monogamy • Non-monogamy • Pederasty • Polyamory • Polyfidelity • Polygamy • Romantic friendship • Same-sex relationship • Significant other • Soulmate • Widowhood • Wife
Major relationship events
Courtship • Bonding • Divorce • Relationship breakup • Romance • Separation • Wedding
Feelings and emotions
Affinity • Attachment • Compersion • Infatuation • Intimacy • Jealousy • Limerence • Love • Passion • Platonic love • Polyamory • Psychology of sexual monogamy
Human practices
Bride price (Dower • Dowry) • Hypergamy • Relationship abuse (Child abuse • Elder abuse • Spousal abuse) • Sexuality • Teen dating violence
v • d • e
From a scientifically testable frame of reference, love is a type of interpersonal relationship where mutual assumption of good faith results in a state of emergence, i.e. constituents individually perceive the group's social evolution as both beneficial and greater than what could be achieved by the sum of the relationship's parts.
Biological sciences such as evolutionary psychology, evolutionary biology, anthropology and neuroscience have begun to explore the nature and function of love. Specific chemical substances such as oxytocin are studied in the context of their roles in producing human experiences and behaviors that are associated with love.
Contents
[hide]
• 1 Evolutionary psychology
• 2 Neurochemistry
o 2.1 Serotonin
o 2.2 Oxytocin
o 2.3 Nerve growth factor
• 3 Brain imaging
• 4 See also
• 5 References
• 6 External links
[edit] Evolutionary psychology
From the perspective of evolutionary psychology the experiences and behaviors associated with love can be investigated in terms of how they have been shaped by human evolution.[1] For example, it has been suggested that human language has been selected during evolution as a type of "mating signal" that allows potential mates to judge reproductive fitness.[2] Miller described evolutionary psychology as a starting place for further research: "Cognitive neuroscience could try to localize courtship adaptations in the brain. Most importantly, we need much better observations concerning real-life human courtship, including the measurable aspects of courtship that influence mate choice, the reproductive (or at least sexual) consequences of individual variation in those aspects, and the social-cognitive and emotional mechanisms of falling in love." Since Darwin's time there have been similar speculations about the evolution of human interest in music also as a potential signaling system for attracting and judging the fitness of potential mates.[3] It has been suggested that the human capacity to experience love has been evolved as a signal to potential mates that the partner will be a good parent and be likely to help pass genes to future generations.[4]
[edit] Neurochemistry
Studies in neuroscience have involved chemicals that are present in the brain and might be involved when people experience love. These chemicals include: nerve growth factor[5], testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, and vasopressin.[6] Adequate brain levels of testosterone seem important for both human male and female sexual behavior.[7] Dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin are more commonly found during the attraction phase of a relationship.[citation needed] Oxytocin and vasopressin seemed to be more closely linked to long term bonding and relationships characterized by strong attachments.
The conventional view in biology is that there are two major drives in love — sexual attraction and attachment. [8] Attachment between adults is presumed to work on the same principles that lead an infant to become attached to his or her mother or father.
The chemicals triggered that are responsible for passionate love and long-term attachment love seem to be more particular to the activities in which both persons participate rather than to the nature of the specific people involved.[8]
Helen Fisher, a leading expert in the topic of love, also adds lust to the experience of love. Lust exposes people to others, and is the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes mating, and involves the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and estrogen. These effects rarely last more than a few weeks or months.
[edit] Serotonin
Chemically, the serotonin effects of being in love have a similar chemical appearance to obsessive-compulsive disorder; which could explain why a person in love cannot think of anyone else.[9] For this reason some assert that taking SSRIs and other antidepressants, which treat OCD, impede one's ability to fall in love. One particular case:
"I know of one couple on the edge of divorce. The wife was on an antidepressant. Then she went off it, started having orgasms once more, felt the renewal of sexual attraction for her husband, and they're now in love all over again."[citation needed]
[edit] Oxytocin
The long-term attachment felt after the initial "in love" passionate phase of the relationship ends is related to oxytocin, a chemical released after orgasm.[10] Moreover, novelty triggers attraction. Thus, nerve-racking activities like riding a roller coaster are good on dates. Even working out for several minutes can make one more attracted to other people on account of increased heart rate and other physiological responses.
[edit] Nerve growth factor
In 2005, Italian scientists at Pavia University found that a protein molecule known as the nerve growth factor (NGF) has high levels when people first fall in love, but these return to previous levels after one year. Specifically, four neurotrophin levels (NGF, BDNF, NT-3, and NT-4) of 58 subjects who had recently fallen in love were compared with levels in two control groups who were either single or already engaged in a long-term relationship. The results showed that NGF levels were significantly higher in the subjects in love than as compared to either of the control groups.[11]
[edit] Brain imaging
Brain scanning techniques such as magnetic resonance imaging have been used to investigate brain regions that seem to be involved in producing the human experience of love.[12]
[edit] See also
• Biological Attraction
• Love
• Love (cultural views)
• Love (religious views)
• Love sickness
Charity (virtue)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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This article may require cleanup to meet Wikipedia's quality standards. Please improve this article if you can. (February 2007)
This article is about the theological term of Christianity. For other uses, see Charity (disambiguation).
Allegorical personification of Charity as a mother with three infants by Anthony van Dyck
In Christian theology charity, or love (agapē), means an unlimited loving-kindness toward all others.
The term should not be confused with the more restricted modern use of the word charity to mean benevolent giving.
Contents
[hide]
• 1 Caritas: altruistic love
• 2 Notes
• 3 See also
• 4 External links
[edit] Caritas: altruistic love
In Christian theology charity, or love (agapē), is the greatest of the three theological virtues:
Deus caritas est - "God is love".
Love, in this sense of an unlimited loving-kindness towards all others, is held to be the ultimate perfection of the human spirit, because it is said to both glorify and reflect the nature of God. In its most extreme form such love can be self-sacrificial. Confusion can arise from the multiple meanings of the English word "love." The love that is caritas is distinguished by its origin, being Divinely infused into the soul, and by its residing in the will rather than emotions, regardless of what emotions it stirs up. This love is necessary for salvation, and with it no one can be lost.
Charity by William-Adolphe Bouguereau
Charity is comprised two parts, love of God and love of man, which includes both love of one's neighbor and one's self.
Paul describes it in the Letter to the Corinthians (chapter 13 (KJV)):
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
Note that the King James Version uses both the words charity and love to translate the idea of caritas / ἀγάπη: sometimes it uses one, sometimes the other, for the same concept. Most other English translations, both before and since, do not; instead throughout they use the same more direct English word love, so that the unity of the teaching should not be in doubt. Love can have other meanings in English, but as used in the Bible it almost always refers to the virtue of caritas.
Many times when charity is mentioned in English-language bibles, it refers to "love of God." One example is "charity covereth a multitude of sins" (Peter 4:8), which forms the basis of perfect contrition.
[edit] Notes
1. John Bossy, Christianity in the West 1400-1700 (Oxford 1985) 168.
[edit] See also
• Loving-kindness
• Chesed Hebrew word, given the association of kindness and love
• Agape Greek word, given the association of "loving-kindness" or "love"
• Mettā Sanskrit word, given the association of "loving-kindness" and "friendliness"
• Deus caritas est 2005 Papal Encyclical
• Love for enemies
• Seven Heavenly Virtues
Chastity
Temperance
Charity
Diligence
Patience
Kindness
Humility
• Seven Deadly Sins (opposite of the seven virtues)
Lust
Gluttony
Greed
Sloth
Wrath
Envy
Pride
Love (cultural views)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
The heart, a frequent modern symbol of love
This page contains cultural views on the topic of love.
Contents
[hide]
• 1 Cultural views
o 1.1 Chinese
o 1.2 Japanese
o 1.3 Greek
o 1.4 Latin
o 1.5 Indonesian
o 1.6 Filipino Concepts
o 1.7 The Urdu Language
• 2 See also
• 3 References
• 4 External links
[edit] Cultural views
Part of a series on Love
Basic Aspects
Love
Love (scientific views)
Love (virtue)
Love (cultural views)
Human bonding
Historically
Courtly love
Greek love
Religious love
Types of emotion
Erotic love
Platonic love
Familial love
Romantic love
See also
Unrequited love
Love sickness
Interpersonal relationship
Sexuality
Sexual intercourse
Cultural views of love
Valentine's Day
This box: view • talk • edit
[edit] Chinese
• Ai (愛) is used as a verb (e.g. Wo ai ni, "I love you") or as a noun, especially in aiqing (愛情), "love" or "romance." In mainland China since 1949, airen (愛人, originally "lover," or more literally, "love person") is the dominant word for "spouse" (with separate terms for "wife" and "husband" originally being de-emphasized).
• Lian (戀) is not generally used alone, but instead as part of such terms as "being in love" (談戀愛, tan lian'ai — also containing ai), "lover" (戀人, lianren) or "homosexuality" (同性戀, tongxinglian).
• Qing (情), commonly meaning "feeling" or "emotion," often indicates "love" in several terms. It is contained in the word aiqing (愛情); qingren (情人) is a term for "lover". It is comparable to the English word "dear".
In Confucianism, lian is a virtuous benevolent love. Lian should be pursued by all human beings, and reflects a moral life. The Chinese philosopher Mozi developed the concept of ai (愛) in reaction to Confucian lian. Ai, in Mohism, is universal love towards all beings, not just towards friends or family, without regard to reciprocation. Extravagance and offensive war are inimical to ai. Although Mozi's thought was influential, the Confucian lian is how most Chinese conceive of love.
Gănqíng (感情), the feeling of a relationship. A person will express love by building good gănqíng, accomplished through helping or working for another. Emotional attachment toward another person or anything.
Yuanfen (緣份) is a connection of bound destinies. A meaningful relationship is often conceived of as dependent strong yuanfen. It is very similar to serendipity. A similar conceptualization in English is, "They were made for each other," "fate," or "destiny".
Zaolian (Simplified: 早恋, Traditional: 早戀, pinyin: zǎoliàn), "puppy love" or literally "early love," is a contemporary term in frequent use for romantic feelings or attachments among children or adolescents. Zaolian describes both relationships among a teenaged boyfriend and girlfriend, as well as the "crushes" of early adolescence or childhood. The concept essentially indicates a prevalent belief in contemporary Chinese culture that due to the demands of their studies (especially true in the highly competitive educational system of China), youth should not form romantic attachments lest they jeopardize their chances for success in the future. Reports have appeared in Chinese newspapers and other media detailing the prevalence of the phenomenon and its perceived dangers to students and the fears of parents.
[edit] Japanese
In Japanese Buddhism, ai (愛) is passionate caring love, and a fundamental desire. It can develop towards either selfishness or selflessness and enlightenment.
Amae (甘え), a Japanese word meaning "indulgent dependence", is part of the child-rearing culture of Japan. Japanese mothers are expected to hug and indulge their children, and children are expected to reward their mothers by clinging and serving. Some sociologists (most notably, Takeo Doi) have suggested that Japanese social interactions in later life are modeled on the mother-child amae.
Linguistically, the two most common words for love are ai （愛）and koi (恋). Generally speaking, most forms of non-romantic love are expressed using the former, while romantic love is expressed using the latter. "Parental love", for example, is oya no ai (親の愛), while "to be in love with" is koi suru (恋する). There are of course exceptions. The word aijin (愛人) means "lover" and implies an illicit, often extramarital relationship, whereas koibito (恋人) has the connotation of "boyfriend", "girlfriend", or "partner".
In everyday conversation, however, ai (愛) and koi (恋) are rarely used because to many Japanese people the word "ai" sounds either overly dramatic or desperate. Rather than using ai shiteiru (愛している) or koi shiteiru (恋している) to say "I love you", for example, most Japanese would say daisuki desu (大好きです), which means "I really like you" -- suki (好き) being the same word used to express preferences for food, music, etc., as in sushi ga suki desu (寿司が好きです), or "I like sushi." Rather than diluting the sentiment, however, the implied meaning of "love" is understood. (The phrase ai shiteiru (愛している), "I love you", however, tends to show up frequently in pop song love ballads.)
[edit] Greek
See also: Greek words for love
Greek distinguishes several different senses in which the word love is used. For example, ancient Greek has the words philia, eros, agape, storge and xenia. As with many other languages, it is difficult to separate the meanings of these words totally. The ancient Greek text of the Bible has examples of the verb agapo being used with the same meaning as phileo.[citation needed]
Agape (ἀγάπη agápē) means love in modern day Greek. The term s'agapo means I love you in Greek. The word agapo is the verb I love. It generally refers to a "pure", ideal type of love rather than the physical attraction suggested by eros. However, there are some examples of agape used to mean the same as eros. It has also been translated as "love of the soul".
Eros (ἔρως érōs) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Greek word erota means in love. Plato refined his own definition. Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. Eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty, and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth by eros. Some translations list it as "love of the body".
Philia (φιλία philía), means friendship in modern Greek, a dispassionate virtuous love, was a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. Philia is motivated by practical reasons; one or both of the parties benefit from the relationship.
Storge (στοργή storgē) means affection in modern Greek; it is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring.
Xenia (ξενία philoxenía), means hospitality in modern Greek, and was an extremely important practice in ancient Greece. It was an almost ritualized friendship formed between a host and their guest, who could previously be strangers. The host fed and provided quarters for the guest, who was only expected to repay with gratitude. The importance of this can be seen throughout Greek mythology, in particular Homer's Iliad and Odyssey.
[edit] Latin
'Sacred Love versus Profane Love' by Giovanni Baglione
The Latin language has several different verbs corresponding to the English word 'love'.
Amore is the basic word for to love, as it still is in Italian today. The Romans used it both in an affectionate sense, as well as in a romantic or sexual sense. From this verb come amans, a lover, amator, 'professional lover', often with the accessory notion of lechery, and amica, 'girlfriend' in the English sense, often as well being applied euphemistically to a prostitute. The corresponding noun is amor, which is also used in the plural form to indicate 'love affairs' or 'sexual adventures'. This same root also produces amicus, 'friend', and amicitia, 'friendship' ed on mutual advantage, and corresponding sometimes more closely to 'indebtedness' or 'influence'). Cicero wrote a treatise called On Friendship (de Amicitia) which discusses the notion at some length. Ovid wrote a guide to dating called Ars Amatoria (The Art of Lovers), which addresses in depth everything from extramarital affairs to overprotective parents.
Complicating the picture somewhat, Latin sometimes uses amare where English would simply say to like; this notion, however, is much more generally expressed in Latin by placere or delectare, which are used more colloquially, and the latter of which is used frequently in the love poetry of Catullus.
Diligere often has the notion 'to be affectionate for', 'to esteem', and rarely if ever is used of romantic love. This word would be appropriate to describe the friendship between two men. The corresponding noun diligentia, however, has the meaning 'diligence' 'carefulness' and has little semantic overlap with the verb.
Observare is a synonym for 'diligere'; despite the cognate with English, this verb and its corresponding noun 'observantia' often denote 'esteem' or 'affection'.
Caritas is used in Latin translations of the Christian Bible to mean 'charitable love'. This meaning, however, is not found in Classical pagan Roman literature. As it arises from a conflation with a Greek word, there is no corresponding verb.
[edit] Indonesian
In Indonesia, the word Cinta literally means love and describes the interpersonal feeling of affection. In everyday conversation, Cinta gives more romantic and dramatic value, but in some condition, cinta kasih can describe a general love and compassion. Kasih literally means giving, however, Kekasih (kasih with infix -ek-) means a lover. However, in everyday conversation, sayang is used more generally as an expression of romantic affection.
[edit] Filipino Concepts
In Filipino concepts love is expressed in a wide variety of terms. In Filipino culture, love is divided between purely personal and reciprocal variants. These terms are conveyed in the Tagalog, the most widely-spoken language in the Philippines beside English:
Ibig is used to imply a fond love, and is used in to convey desire in an affection. An example is: "Umibig si Ningning kay Buboy" (Ningning loves Buboy). It is a commonly used term in casual conversation of the topic. Yet in courtship or between couples, the term "Iniibig kita" - "I love you" is understood to be an intimate, romantic love.(Cebuano language: Gugma)
Mahal implies a highly valued affection. Its literal meaning is close to the English word "dear", in terms of expense, with an emphasis on that love being reciprocal. An example would be the phrase "Mahal kita" - "I love you". As well as being a main term for love between partners or in courtship, it is also the main term to express Platonic love. An example phrase is: "Mahalin mo ang iyong mga Magulang" (Love your parents.)
Giliw is used to term a "yearning intent love" harboured personally for someone, declared or undeclared. It has connotations of personal loneliness when the partner or person for whom such feelings are directed towards, is absent. Used in situations to prove or emphasize a persons affections for another. It is also used as an endearing address similar to the English word "baby".
Sinta is a confident reciprocal established romantic love between partners, where both partners consider an equally high affection for each other. Because sinta is an archaic term (equivalent linguistically to the Malay/Indonesian word Cinta, but differing in its exact connotation), it is considered malalim (deep) and poetic. Hence sinta is rarely used in everyday conversation, but may be used by couples in an address similar to the English terms "darling" or "dearest".
Pagnanais is used to convey a heavy desire with a main focus on the partner or courtee. It places focus on the actor achieving a higher stage of affection, such as sinta, with the object of affection. In contrast to the other terms, the linguistic element of pagnanais, which has its root in nais (to want), is a more grave wanting love. Because of the root word's meaning, it is avoided as a term in conversation when referring to affections, but its rather used for "wanting and liking" a certain object.
[edit] The Urdu Language
In the Urdu language (the official language of Pakistan) there are several different words for love. Used in specific contexts they display the diverse levels of intensity of love. “Ishq” is the word that is used for the most intense form of love. Ishq is divided into two categories; “Ishq-e-ilahi” is the love for God and “Ishq-e-Majazi” is the love for another human being. Ishq is defined as unconditional and undying love for the other. “Pyar” and “Mohabbat” are two other more commonly used words to define love.
[edit] See also
Human bonding
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
Close relationships
Types of relationships
Boyfriend • Casual • Cohabitation • Concubinage • Courtesan • Domestic partnership • Family • Friendship • Girlfriend • Husband • Kinship • Marriage • Mistress (lover) • Monogamy • Non-monogamy • Pederasty • Polyamory • Polyfidelity • Polygamy • Romantic friendship • Same-sex relationship • Significant other • Soulmate • Widowhood • Wife
Major relationship events
Courtship • Bonding • Divorce • Relationship breakup • Romance • Separation • Wedding
Feelings and emotions
Affinity • Attachment • Compersion • Infatuation • Intimacy • Jealousy • Limerence • Love • Passion • Platonic love • Polyamory • Psychology of sexual monogamy
Human practices
Bride price (Dower • Dowry) • Hypergamy • Relationship abuse (Child abuse • Elder abuse • Spousal abuse) • Sexuality • Teen dating violence
v • d • e
Human bonding refers to the development of a close, interpersonal relationship between family members or friends.[1] Bonding is a mutual, interactive process, and is not the same as simple liking.
The term is from the 12th century, Middle English word band or band, which refers to something that binds, ties, or restrains. In early usage, a bondman, bondwoman, or bondservant was a feudal serf that was obligated to work for his or her lord without pay. In modern usage, a bondsman is a person who provides bonds or surety for someone.
Bonding typically refers to the process of attachment that develops between romantic partners, close friends, or parents and children. This bond is characterized by emotions such as affection and trust. Any two people that spend time together may form a bond.
Male bonding refers to the establishment of relationships between men through shared activities that often exclude females. The term female bonding is less frequently used, but refers to the formation of close personal relationships between women.[2]
Contents
[hide]
• 1 Early views
• 2 Pair bonding
o 2.1 Limerent bond
• 3 Parental bonding
o 3.1 Attachment
o 3.2 Maternal bonding
o 3.3 Paternal bonding
• 4 Human-animal bonding
• 5 Neurobiology
• 6 Weak ties
• 7 Debonding and loss
• 8 See also
• 9 References
• 10 Further reading
o 10.1 Books
o 10.2 Articles
• 11 External links
o 11.1 Relationships
o 11.2 Baby bonding
o 11.3 Adoption bonding
o 11.4 Human-animal bonding
[edit] Early views
In the 4th century BC, the Greek philosopher Plato argued that love directs the bonds of human society. In his Symposium, Eryximachus, one of the narrators in the dialog, states that love goes far beyond simple attraction to human beauty. He states that it occurs throughout the animal and plant kingdoms, as well as throughout the universe. Love directs everything that occurs, in the realm of the gods as well as that of humans (186a-b).
Eyrximachus reasons that when various opposing elements such as wet and dry are "animated by the proper species of Love, they are in harmony with one another... But when the sort of Love that is crude and impulsive controls the seasons, he brings death and destruction" (188a). Because it is love that guides the relations between these sets of opposites throughout existence, in every case it is the higher form of love that brings harmony and cleaves toward the good, whereas the impulsive vulgar love creates disharmony.
Plato concludes that the highest form of love is the greatest. When love "is directed, in temperance and justice, towards the good, whether in heaven or on earth: happiness and good fortune, the bonds of human society, concord with the gods above- all these are among his gifts" (188d).
In the 1660s, the Dutch philosopher Spinoza wrote, in his Ethics of Human Bondage or the Strength of the Emotions, that the term "bondage" relates to the human infirmity in moderating and checking the emotions. That is, according to Spinoza, "when a man is prey to his emotions, he is not his own master, but lies at the mercy of fortune."
In 1809 Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, in his classic novella Elective Affinities, wrote of the "marriage tie," and by analogy shows how strong marriage unions are similar in character to that by which the particles of quicksilver find a unity together though the process of chemical affinity. Humans in passionate relationships, according to Goethe, are analogous to reactive substances in a chemical equation.
[edit] Pair bonding
Main article: Pair bond
The term, pair-bond originated in 1940 in reference to mated pairs of birds. It is a generic term signifying a monogamous or relatively monogamous relationship in either humans or animals. The term is commonly used in sociobiology and evolutionary psychology.[3] Pair-bonding, usually of a fairly short duration, occurs in a variety of primate species. Some scientists speculate that prolonged bonds developed in humans along with increased sharing of food.[4]
[edit] Limerent bond
Main article: Limerence
According to limerence theory, positioned in 1979 by psychologist Dorothy Tennov, a certain percentage of couples may go through what is called a limerent reaction, in which one or both of the pair may experience a state of passion mixed with continuous intrusive thinking, fear of rejection, and hope. Hence, with all human romantic relationships, one of three varieties of bonds may form, defined over a set duration of time, in relation to the experience or non-experience of limerence:
1. Affectional bond: define relationships in which neither partner is limerent.
2. Limerent-Nonlimerent bond: define relationships in which one partner is limerent.
3. Limerent-Limerent bond: define relationships in which both partners are limerent.
The constitution of these bonds may vary over the course of the relationship, in ways that may either increase or decrease the intensity of the limerence. The basis and interesting characteristic of this delineation made by Tennov, is that based on her research and interviews with over 500 people, all human bonded relationships can be divided into three varieties being defined by the amount of limerence or non-limerence each partner contributes to the relationship.
A mother breast feeding - a process that facilitates mother-infant bonding.
[edit] Parental bonding
[edit] Attachment
Main articles: Affectional bond and Attachment theory
In 1958, British developmental psychologist John Bowlby published the ground-breaking paper "the Nature of the Child's Tie to his Mother", in which the precursory concepts of "attachment theory" were developed. This included the development of the concept of the affectional bond, sometimes referred to as the emotional bond, which is based on the universal tendency for humans to attach, i.e. to seek closeness to another person and to feel secure when that person is present. Attachment theory has some of its origins in the observation of and experiments with animals, but is also based on observations of children who had missed typical experiences of adult care. Much of the early research on attachment in humans was done by John Bowlby and his associates. Bowlby proposed that babies have an inbuilt need from birth to make emotional attachments, i.e. bonds, because this increases the chances of survival by ensuring that they receive the care they need.[5][6][7]
[edit] Maternal bonding
Main article: Maternal bond
Of all human bonds, the maternal bond is considered to be one of the strongest. The maternal bond begins to develop during pregnancy; following pregnancy, the production of oxytocin during lactation increases parasympathetic activity, thus reducing anxiety and theoretically fostering bonding. It is generally understood that maternal oxytocin circulation can predispose some mammals to show caregiving behavior in response to young of their species.
Breastfeeding has been reported to foster the early post-partum maternal bond, via touch, response, and mutual gazing.[8] Extensive claims for the effect of breastfeeding were made in the 1930s by Margaret Ribble, a champion of "infant rights"[9], but were rejected on scientific grounds.[10] The claimed effect is not universal, and bottle-feeding mothers are generally appropriately concerned with their babies. It is difficult to determine the extent of causality due to a number of confounding variables, such as the varied reasons families choose different feeding methods. Many believe that early bonding ideally increases response and sensitivity to the child's needs, bolstering the quality of the mother-baby relationship – however, many exceptions can be found of highly successful mother-baby bonds, even though early breastfeeding did not occur, such as with premature infants who may lack the necessary sucking strength to successfully breastfeed.
Father playing with his young daughter - an activity that tends to strengthen the father-child bond.
[edit] Paternal bonding
Main article: Paternal bond
In contrast to the maternal bond, paternal bonds tend to vary greatly over the span of a child’s development in terms of both strength and stability. In fact, many children now grow up in fatherless households and do not experience a paternal bond at all. In general, paternal bonding is more dominant later in a child’s life after language develops. Fathers may be more influential in play-interactions as opposed to nurturance-interactions. Father-child bonds also tend to develop with respect to topics such as political views or money, whereas mother-child bonds tend to develop in relation to topics such as religious views or general outlooks on life.[11]
In 2003, researcher from Northwestern University in Illinois found that progesterone, a hormone more usually associated with pregnancy and maternal bonding, may also control the way men react towards their children. Specifically, they found that a lack of progesterone reduced aggressive behaviour in male mice and stimulated them to act in a fatherly way towards their offspring.[12]
[edit] Human-animal bonding
Main articles: Pet and Animal love
Human-animal bond human to animal contact is known to reduce the physiological characteristics of stress.
The human-animal bond can be defined as a connection between people and animals, domestic or wild; be it a cat as a pet or birds outside one’s window. Research into the nature and merit of the human animal bond began in the late 1700s when, in York, England, the Society of Friends established the The Retreat to provide humane treatment for the mentally ill. By having patients care for the many farm animals on the estate, society officials theorized that the combination of animal contact plus productive work would facilitate the patients’ rehabilitation. In the 1870s in Paris, a French surgeon had patients with neurological disorders ride horses. The patients were found to have improved their motor control and balance and were less likely to suffer bouts of depression.[13]
In the 19th century, in Bielefeld, Germany, epileptic patients were given the prescription to spend time each day taking care of cats and dogs. The contact with the animals was found to reduce the occurrence of seizures. In 1980, a team of scientists at the University of Pennsylvania found that human to animal contact was found to reduce the physiological characteristics of stress; specifically, lowered levels of blood pressure, heart rate, respiratory rate, anxiety, and tension were all found to correlate positively with human pet bonding.[13]
Historically, animals were domesticated for functional use; for example, dogs for herding and tracking, and cats for killing mice or rats. Today, in Western societies, their function is primarily a bonding function. For example, current studies show that 60–80% of dogs sleep with their owners at night in the bedroom, either in or on the bed.[14] Moreover, in the past the majority of cats were kept outside (barn cats) whereas today most cats are kept indoors (housecats) and considered part of the family. Presently, in the US, for example, 1.2 billion animals are kept as pets, primarily for bonding purposes.[14] In addition, as of 1995 there were over 30 research institutions looking into the potential benefits of the human animal bond.[13]
[edit] Neurobiology
There is evidence in a variety of species that the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin are involved in the bonding process, and in other forms of prosocial and reproductive behavior. Both chemicals facilitate pair bonding and maternal behavior in experiments on laboratory animals. In humans, there is evidence that oxytocin and vasopressin are released during labor and breastfeeding, and that these events are associated with maternal bonding. According to one model, social isolation leads to stress, which is associated with activity in the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis and the release of cortisol. Positive social interaction is associated with increased oxytocin. This leads to bonding, which is also associated with higher levels of oxytocin and vasopressin, and reduced stress and stress-related hormones.[15]
Oxytocin is associated with higher levels of trust in laboratory studies on humans. It has been called the "cuddle chemical" for its role in facilitating trust and attachment.[16] In the reward centers of the limbic system, the neurotransmitter, dopamine may interact with oxytocin and further increase the likelihood of bonding. One team of researchers has argued that oxytocin only plays a secondary role in affiliation, and that endogenous opiates play the central role. According to this model, affiliation is a function of the brain systems underlying reward and memory formation.[17]
Because the vast majority of this research has been done on animals-- and the majority of that on rodents-- these findings must be taken with caution when applied to humans. One of the few studies that looked at the influence of hormones on human bonding compared participants who had recently fallen in love with a control group. There were no differences for most of the hormones measured, including LH, estradiol, progesterone, DHEAS, and androstenedione. Testosterone and FSH were lower in men who had recently fallen in love, and there was also a difference in blood cortisol for both sexes, with higher levels in the group that was in love. These differences disappeared after 12-28 months and may reflect the temporary stress and arousal of a new relationship.[18]
[edit] Weak ties
Main article: Interpersonal ties
In 1962, Mark Granovetter, a freshman history major at Harvard, became enamored with the concepts underlying the classic chemistry lecture in which "weak" hydrogen bonds hold huge water molecule together, which themselves are held together by "strong" covalent bonds. This model was the stimulus behind his famous 1973 paper The Strength of Weak Ties, which is now considered a classic paper in sociology.
Weak social bonds are believed to be responsible for the majority of the embeddedness and structure of social networks in society as well as the transmission of information through these networks. Specifically, more novel information flows to individuals through weak than through strong ties. Because our close friends tend to move in the same circles that we do, the information they receive overlaps considerably with what we already know. Acquaintances, by contrast, know people that we do not, and thus receive more novel information.[19]
[edit] Debonding and loss
In 1976, sociologist Diane Vaughan proposed an “uncoupling theory”, where, during the dynamics of relationship breakup, there exists "turning point", only noted in hindsight, followed by transition period in which one partner unconsciously knows the relationship is going to end, but holds on to it for an extended period, sometimes for a number of years.[20]
When a person to which one has become bonded is lost, a grief response may occur. Grief is the process of accepting the loss and adjusting to the changed situation. Grief may take longer than the initial development of the bond, typically one to two years for the loss of a marital partner. The grief process varies with culture.
[edit] See also
score card of mumbai india vs Chennai Super Kings
Twenty20 match
Indian Premier League - 1st match
Chennai Super Kings v Mumbai Indians 2009 season
Played at Newlands, Cape Town (neutral venue), on 18 April 2009 (20-over match)
Mumbai Indians innings (20 overs maximum) R B 4s 6s SR
ST Jayasuriya c Hayden b Thushara 26 20 5 0 130.00
captain SR Tendulkar not out 59 49 7 0 120.40
S Dhawan c Dhoni b Gony 22 21 2 0 104.76
JP Duminy c & b Gony 9 7 1 0 128.57
DJ Bravo c Hayden b Joginder Sharma 5 4 1 0 125.00
AM Nayar c Thushara b Oram 35 14 2 3 250.00
Harbhajan Singh run out (Oram) 4 2 1 0 200.00
Z Khan c Ashwin b Flintoff 2 3 0 0 66.66
wicketkeeper PR Shah not out 0 0 0 0 -
Extras (b 1, lb 1, w 1) 3
Total (7 wickets; 20 overs) 165 (8.25 runs per over)
Did not bat SL Malinga, RR Raje
Fall of wickets1-39 (Jayasuriya, 5.5 ov), 2-82 (Dhawan, 11.4 ov), 3-95 (Duminy, 13.3 ov), 4-102 (Bravo, 14.3 ov), 5-148 (Nayar, 18.1 ov), 6-157 (Harbhajan Singh, 18.6 ov), 7-161 (Khan, 19.5 ov)
Bowling O M R W Econ
MS Gony 4 0 32 2 8.00 (1w)
T Thushara 4 0 32 1 8.00
A Flintoff 4 0 44 1 11.00
JDP Oram 4 0 30 1 7.50
Joginder Sharma 4 0 25 1 6.25
Chennai Super Kings innings (target: 166 runs from 20 overs) R B 4s 6s SR
wicketkeeper PA Patel c Tendulkar b Malinga 0 2 0 0 0.00
ML Hayden c Khan b Jayasuriya 44 35 6 1 125.71
SK Raina c Raje b Bravo 8 9 1 0 88.88
A Flintoff c & b Harbhajan Singh 24 23 2 1 104.34
captain MS Dhoni b Malinga 36 26 1 2 138.46
JDP Oram c wicketkeeperShah b Jayasuriya 8 6 0 1 133.33
S Badrinath c Bravo b Malinga 0 2 0 0 0.00
Joginder Sharma not out 16 15 0 1 106.66
T Thushara not out 0 1 0 0 0.00
Extras (lb 6, w 3) 9
Total (7 wickets; 19.5 overs) 145 (7.31 runs per over)
To bat MS Gony, R Ashwin
Fall of wickets1-0 (Patel, 0.2 ov), 2-18 (Raina, 2.5 ov), 3-70 (Flintoff, 9.5 ov), 4-89 (Hayden, 12.4 ov), 5-101 (Oram, 14.3 ov), 6-109 (Badrinath, 15.3 ov), 7-144 (Dhoni, 19.4 ov)
Bowling O M R W Econ
SL Malinga 3.5 0 14 3 3.65 (2w)
Z Khan 4 0 34 0 8.50
DJ Bravo 4 0 27 1 6.75 (1w)
RR Raje 1 0 15 0 15.00
Harbhajan Singh 3 0 15 1 5.00
ST Jayasuriya 4 0 34 2 8.50
Toss Chennai Super Kings, who chose to field first
Player of the match tba
Umpires BR Doctrove (West Indies) and K Hariharan (India)
TV umpire RB Tiffin (Zimbabwe)
Match referee GR Viswanath (India)
Reserve umpire EC Hendrikse
Indian Premier League - 1st match
Chennai Super Kings v Mumbai Indians 2009 season
Played at Newlands, Cape Town (neutral venue), on 18 April 2009 (20-over match)
Mumbai Indians innings (20 overs maximum) R B 4s 6s SR
ST Jayasuriya c Hayden b Thushara 26 20 5 0 130.00
captain SR Tendulkar not out 59 49 7 0 120.40
S Dhawan c Dhoni b Gony 22 21 2 0 104.76
JP Duminy c & b Gony 9 7 1 0 128.57
DJ Bravo c Hayden b Joginder Sharma 5 4 1 0 125.00
AM Nayar c Thushara b Oram 35 14 2 3 250.00
Harbhajan Singh run out (Oram) 4 2 1 0 200.00
Z Khan c Ashwin b Flintoff 2 3 0 0 66.66
wicketkeeper PR Shah not out 0 0 0 0 -
Extras (b 1, lb 1, w 1) 3
Total (7 wickets; 20 overs) 165 (8.25 runs per over)
Did not bat SL Malinga, RR Raje
Fall of wickets1-39 (Jayasuriya, 5.5 ov), 2-82 (Dhawan, 11.4 ov), 3-95 (Duminy, 13.3 ov), 4-102 (Bravo, 14.3 ov), 5-148 (Nayar, 18.1 ov), 6-157 (Harbhajan Singh, 18.6 ov), 7-161 (Khan, 19.5 ov)
Bowling O M R W Econ
MS Gony 4 0 32 2 8.00 (1w)
T Thushara 4 0 32 1 8.00
A Flintoff 4 0 44 1 11.00
JDP Oram 4 0 30 1 7.50
Joginder Sharma 4 0 25 1 6.25
Chennai Super Kings innings (target: 166 runs from 20 overs) R B 4s 6s SR
wicketkeeper PA Patel c Tendulkar b Malinga 0 2 0 0 0.00
ML Hayden c Khan b Jayasuriya 44 35 6 1 125.71
SK Raina c Raje b Bravo 8 9 1 0 88.88
A Flintoff c & b Harbhajan Singh 24 23 2 1 104.34
captain MS Dhoni b Malinga 36 26 1 2 138.46
JDP Oram c wicketkeeperShah b Jayasuriya 8 6 0 1 133.33
S Badrinath c Bravo b Malinga 0 2 0 0 0.00
Joginder Sharma not out 16 15 0 1 106.66
T Thushara not out 0 1 0 0 0.00
Extras (lb 6, w 3) 9
Total (7 wickets; 19.5 overs) 145 (7.31 runs per over)
To bat MS Gony, R Ashwin
Fall of wickets1-0 (Patel, 0.2 ov), 2-18 (Raina, 2.5 ov), 3-70 (Flintoff, 9.5 ov), 4-89 (Hayden, 12.4 ov), 5-101 (Oram, 14.3 ov), 6-109 (Badrinath, 15.3 ov), 7-144 (Dhoni, 19.4 ov)
Bowling O M R W Econ
SL Malinga 3.5 0 14 3 3.65 (2w)
Z Khan 4 0 34 0 8.50
DJ Bravo 4 0 27 1 6.75 (1w)
RR Raje 1 0 15 0 15.00
Harbhajan Singh 3 0 15 1 5.00
ST Jayasuriya 4 0 34 2 8.50
Toss Chennai Super Kings, who chose to field first
Player of the match tba
Umpires BR Doctrove (West Indies) and K Hariharan (India)
TV umpire RB Tiffin (Zimbabwe)
Match referee GR Viswanath (India)
Reserve umpire EC Hendrikse
Tours and tournaments
Tours and tournaments
Current cricket
Current | Future | Recent
International tours
Australia in South Africa
Pakistan v Australia
West Indies in England
Other Cricket
ICC World Cup Qualifiers in South Africa
India Under-19s in Australia
Indian Premier League
Domestic cricket
England domestic season
Tours and tournaments taking place soon
Future series/tournaments
International tours
Australia in England - The Ashes 2009 - May - September 2009
India in West Indies, June - July 2009
England in South Africa, November 2009 - January 2010
International tournaments
ICC World Twenty20, June 2009
Other Cricket
Bangladesh Under-19s in England, July 2009
Women's cricket
ICC Women's World Twenty20, June 2009
Australia Women in England, June - July 2009
Current cricket
Current | Future | Recent
International tours
Australia in South Africa
Pakistan v Australia
West Indies in England
Other Cricket
ICC World Cup Qualifiers in South Africa
India Under-19s in Australia
Indian Premier League
Domestic cricket
England domestic season
Tours and tournaments taking place soon
Future series/tournaments
International tours
Australia in England - The Ashes 2009 - May - September 2009
India in West Indies, June - July 2009
England in South Africa, November 2009 - January 2010
International tournaments
ICC World Twenty20, June 2009
Other Cricket
Bangladesh Under-19s in England, July 2009
Women's cricket
ICC Women's World Twenty20, June 2009
Australia Women in England, June - July 2009
Four qualifiers for ICC Cricket World Cup 2011 finalised
Four qualifiers for ICC Cricket World Cup 2011 finalised
ICC Media Release
Friday, April 17, 2009 9:55:29 PM
The four teams that will join the 10 Full Members in the ICC Cricket World Cup 2011 were finalised today with Ireland, Canada, the Netherlands and Kenya booking their places.
Having already done enough to qualify on Wednesday, it mattered little to Ireland that it went down to Kenya by six wickets at LC de Villiers Oval but that win secured Steve Tikolo’s team its place in the big event.
Meanwhile, Netherlands beat Canada at WITS University to draw level with the North Americans and Kenya but Jeroen Smits and his men stay in fourth place once the net run-rate is taken into account leaving Canada to contest Sunday’s final with Ireland.
Defending champion Scotland, which has underperformed most of the way through this event, managed to cling on to its ODI status for another four years at least by beating the United Arab Emirates at Benoni, thus finishing in fifth position and consigning the UAE to seventh spot.
Afghanistan continues its amazing story by beating eighth-place Namibia at Krugersdorp and so ending the tournament in sixth position and gaining ODI status until 2013 at least.
Ireland all-rounder Andrew White said: “That’s part of the job done for us. The initial goal for us was to get through to the World Cup but having done so well since the last World Cup our overall goal was to try and win the tournament. So we still have to do that.
“We believe we are the best Associate team around but in order to prove that again we need to win this tournament. So although we have qualified for the World Cup, to an extent it’s still job not finished. It’s important, for our own well being, that we prove we are the best Associate in all formats.
“We have played consistently throughout the tournament and we’ll back ourselves to go out and put in another good performance in the final and hopefully that will be good enough on the day.”
Up against Ireland will be a Canada side that has played well throughout most of this 19-day tournament so far, even without talisman John Davison, who suffered an injury half-way through. Captain Ashish Bagai says although it has been a tiring few weeks, his boys are ready for one more challenge.
“It has been a good effort by everyone in the squad. We have played pretty consistently and I am really looking forward to the final now. We are delighted to have qualified for the World Cup but we want to win this trophy.
“It has been a long tour for us and everyone is tired but we will keep it going for one more game and we will get a good rest after that. Then, once we have recovered, we will set out our plan for the World Cup 2011 so that we prepare as well as possible and come into that tournament playing as good cricket as we possibly can,” said Bagai.
Kenya skipper Steve Tikolo, who has played in four World Cups, said afterwards that he would not be around for a fifth.
“My legs are going now and I’m getting a little too slow. I think it’s time to let the youngsters come through,” said 37-year-old Tikolo, who has been the heart of the Kenya team for the best part of 15 years.
“I will probably play until the end of this season but I will not be around for the next World Cup. There is plenty of young talent coming through in Kenya so I think the time is right for me to step away.
“I am very happy we qualified – that was our main goal coming here so that is good enough for me. I think we outplayed Ireland today. The guys came to the ground today very determined and we wanted it badly so that was encouraging, especially considering our poor performance against Namibia two days ago.”
Netherlands captain Jeroen Smits, whose side easily overcame Canada in WITS, was clearly delighted with his team’s fourth-place finish.
“I’m feeling very happy and excited that we are through to another World Cup,” said Smits.
“We played in 2003, 2007 and now we have made it to another one. I think we deserve to be there. We had a few hiccups along the way but basically our batting lineup has been solid through the tournament and we have a good mix of youth and experience. It all came together nicely today and we showed just how well we can play.”
For Afghanistan coach Kabir Khan, the fact his team now has ODI status is a big boost to cricket in his country.
“When we came into the Super Eight we weren’t in a very good position to qualify, but the way the boys played showed how much courage and talent they have got winning some much tougher matches… I am sure we will play in a World Cup one day.
“My first goal when we came into this tournament was to get into the Super Eight as we didn’t want to be relegated. I thought it would be very hard to make the World Cup, playing against so many top sides in this qualifier, but finishing in the top six is an excellent result for us.
“It will help develop the cricketing culture in Afghanistan and there will be more cricket and we will have the opportunity to play four-day cricket (in the ICC Intercontinental Cup).We are not going home empty-handed from the tournament – we have managed to achieve our ODI status.
“I think four-day cricket brings out the true cricketer in everybody as in one-day cricket players may play bad shots against you chasing runs, but in four-day cricket you have to get the batsman out with your own qualities and skills.
“We will also benefit from the support from the ICC in preparing for these competitions. Our team is also very good in the short-form of the game and in Twenty20 they will be challenging a lot of the big teams. All their life in Afghanistan they have played 20 or 25-over cricket, so their games are well suited to this,” said Kabir.
ICC Media Release
Friday, April 17, 2009 9:55:29 PM
The four teams that will join the 10 Full Members in the ICC Cricket World Cup 2011 were finalised today with Ireland, Canada, the Netherlands and Kenya booking their places.
Having already done enough to qualify on Wednesday, it mattered little to Ireland that it went down to Kenya by six wickets at LC de Villiers Oval but that win secured Steve Tikolo’s team its place in the big event.
Meanwhile, Netherlands beat Canada at WITS University to draw level with the North Americans and Kenya but Jeroen Smits and his men stay in fourth place once the net run-rate is taken into account leaving Canada to contest Sunday’s final with Ireland.
Defending champion Scotland, which has underperformed most of the way through this event, managed to cling on to its ODI status for another four years at least by beating the United Arab Emirates at Benoni, thus finishing in fifth position and consigning the UAE to seventh spot.
Afghanistan continues its amazing story by beating eighth-place Namibia at Krugersdorp and so ending the tournament in sixth position and gaining ODI status until 2013 at least.
Ireland all-rounder Andrew White said: “That’s part of the job done for us. The initial goal for us was to get through to the World Cup but having done so well since the last World Cup our overall goal was to try and win the tournament. So we still have to do that.
“We believe we are the best Associate team around but in order to prove that again we need to win this tournament. So although we have qualified for the World Cup, to an extent it’s still job not finished. It’s important, for our own well being, that we prove we are the best Associate in all formats.
“We have played consistently throughout the tournament and we’ll back ourselves to go out and put in another good performance in the final and hopefully that will be good enough on the day.”
Up against Ireland will be a Canada side that has played well throughout most of this 19-day tournament so far, even without talisman John Davison, who suffered an injury half-way through. Captain Ashish Bagai says although it has been a tiring few weeks, his boys are ready for one more challenge.
“It has been a good effort by everyone in the squad. We have played pretty consistently and I am really looking forward to the final now. We are delighted to have qualified for the World Cup but we want to win this trophy.
“It has been a long tour for us and everyone is tired but we will keep it going for one more game and we will get a good rest after that. Then, once we have recovered, we will set out our plan for the World Cup 2011 so that we prepare as well as possible and come into that tournament playing as good cricket as we possibly can,” said Bagai.
Kenya skipper Steve Tikolo, who has played in four World Cups, said afterwards that he would not be around for a fifth.
“My legs are going now and I’m getting a little too slow. I think it’s time to let the youngsters come through,” said 37-year-old Tikolo, who has been the heart of the Kenya team for the best part of 15 years.
“I will probably play until the end of this season but I will not be around for the next World Cup. There is plenty of young talent coming through in Kenya so I think the time is right for me to step away.
“I am very happy we qualified – that was our main goal coming here so that is good enough for me. I think we outplayed Ireland today. The guys came to the ground today very determined and we wanted it badly so that was encouraging, especially considering our poor performance against Namibia two days ago.”
Netherlands captain Jeroen Smits, whose side easily overcame Canada in WITS, was clearly delighted with his team’s fourth-place finish.
“I’m feeling very happy and excited that we are through to another World Cup,” said Smits.
“We played in 2003, 2007 and now we have made it to another one. I think we deserve to be there. We had a few hiccups along the way but basically our batting lineup has been solid through the tournament and we have a good mix of youth and experience. It all came together nicely today and we showed just how well we can play.”
For Afghanistan coach Kabir Khan, the fact his team now has ODI status is a big boost to cricket in his country.
“When we came into the Super Eight we weren’t in a very good position to qualify, but the way the boys played showed how much courage and talent they have got winning some much tougher matches… I am sure we will play in a World Cup one day.
“My first goal when we came into this tournament was to get into the Super Eight as we didn’t want to be relegated. I thought it would be very hard to make the World Cup, playing against so many top sides in this qualifier, but finishing in the top six is an excellent result for us.
“It will help develop the cricketing culture in Afghanistan and there will be more cricket and we will have the opportunity to play four-day cricket (in the ICC Intercontinental Cup).We are not going home empty-handed from the tournament – we have managed to achieve our ODI status.
“I think four-day cricket brings out the true cricketer in everybody as in one-day cricket players may play bad shots against you chasing runs, but in four-day cricket you have to get the batsman out with your own qualities and skills.
“We will also benefit from the support from the ICC in preparing for these competitions. Our team is also very good in the short-form of the game and in Twenty20 they will be challenging a lot of the big teams. All their life in Afghanistan they have played 20 or 25-over cricket, so their games are well suited to this,” said Kabir.
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